Because obviously she needs to get more $2 margaritas in her system

ASFKAB had her birthday at View Bar.  Even though I was tired as HELL from our Wed night outing, I drag my ass to the gym because I really don’t feel like dealing with the gym after work on Friday.  I show up around 8:45 and ASFKAB and his boy situation ) are there with a rather large group of gays.  I meet and greet his friends, and as usual, I have trouble remembering whom I’ve met and whom I haven’t.  Usually I just act like we’ve already been introduced.  I’d rather be rude than embarrassed.  Note: ASFKAB's Facebook relationship status "upgraded" just today,  so I guess they're official.  

 

I get myself a $2 frozen cosmo and start up an awkward convo with a group of guys (because the Ivy League Crew doesn’t show up for anything before 10), and I really ended up connecting with this one guy.  We talked, we kee-keed, we tossed hair.  It was kinda awesome b/c he played queeny for comedy’s sake, but he was really (really) cute.  I wasn’t sure which hand to play until his friend beckoned him outside for a smoke break.  Friend Box! 

 

Finally members of the Ivy League Crew start to trickle in.  Bottomless Pitt arrives first and comes back from the bar with two unknown frozen drinks in glasses!  Bitch, how the fuck did you get glass when I’m the one that flirts with the bartenders every week! 

 

I have to admit that I am very guilty of facebook stalking.  If you’re a friend of a friend whose profile is open to the public and you’ve said that you’re attending an event, I’ve probably looked through your pictures (and posted one on hotornot.com). One profile in particular stood out to me.  This friend of ASFKAB had a very Manhunt-esque profile pic.  I scrolled though and found a youtube link to a stand-up routine he had done.  It was pretty funny, but what really got me was a) how handsome he was, b) his great body (ass like whoa!) and c) how fucking queeny he was on stage!  Of course a big Nelly is a lot funnier to laugh at than a butch queen, so I figured he was putting it on.  Unfortunately, he literally came into View Bar, kissed ASFKAB on the cheek and walked out.  On his way out, I creepily introduced myself and told him I liked the standup.  Turns he remembered me from last summer because we were sitting together on a trip to Fire Island (or I was drunk already and he heard my convo from across the LIRR car).  Shit.

 

ASFKAB is getting about as drunk as a girl should be on her birthday.  At 11:05, I realize there are over 20 people in our gaggle of gays, so I start rallying people to go to Splash in 15 minutes.  ASFKAB’s all like, “Let’s go at 11:30.”  Because obviously she needs to get more $2 margaritas in her system. 

 

We finally walk over to Splash.  One of ASFKAB’s friends complains, “Are we walking all the way to Splash?”  “Well, honey, if your heels are going to hurt you that much, you can take a cab, but we’re walking.”  The Ivy Leage Crew heads downstairs as usual, but ASFKAB’s clique is a little more into the mainstream, so they stay upstairs.  It was about 15 minutes before the Ivy League Crew joined them.  I wasn’t trying to be tired in the morning for upstairs at Splash, so I peaced out.  Did I mention I hate gay music?  Yeah.