not even going to pretend like I know what happened (part 2 of 2)

Had to make this 2 parts because blogger only lets me have so many tags per post.  Ugh.

On a Monday afternoon, I get an email on facebook that a visiting friend of a friend with whom we were all vaguely familiar was leaving NYC and that we were going out to wish him farewell.  Why couldn’t this happen on Saturday?  Whatevs.  So after a good bit of back and forth, it’s decided that Musical Mondays at Splash is the destination.  I meet up with the Bitter Commie Grad Student and a short (cute) friend of his who knows quite a few people there (and who ended up getting kicked out for fighting some fat chick after I left).  Supposedly this leaving friend, along with Urban Sprawl, was meeting us at 7:30.  A long post less long, I stayed there about an hour before my Jewish finance friend (redundant?), Rosebud, resurrected herself from the dead (i.e., the CFA… an acronym that I never expected to appear on this blog) and joined us.  Rosey and I ditched (just as said friend arrived) and tried a couple of other places.  I wanted to go to WOOF!, but Rosey was being all “waaa, it’s empty in there!”  So what if there are 10 people in the bar; 5 of them do porn(NSFW)!  Barracuda was no better (actually worse: no porn stars) so I decided to throw my own porn party uptown (slash call it a night).

It was a pretty quiet week, thankfully, until Thursday.  After the gym, I met up with Urban Sprawl, who was out with a rather large group at Blockheads in Hell’s Kitchen (oh look, a block from my gym!).  Luckily I came right at the end because the rather large group ended up with a rather large bill.  I hate sorting a check with a group and will avoid it at all costs (even if it means settling for water with lemon and street meat later).  Anyway, I get a call from the Pediatrician (‘Trish, an older 20s medical resident whose target audience can be categorized as ‘Barely Legal’), who was “in the process of breaking up with [his] boyfriend” (does the boyfriend know this?) and looking for a party.  There was talk of inviting the group over, but as always happens with a large troupe, everyone is indecisive.  I can’t, so I ditch, and a temporarily torn Urban Sprawl is not far behind.  Over Sveka and Sprite, we share stories about ‘Trish’s time at Gay Days and my time getting “arrested” at the beach last summer.  

Around 9:45 (oops, we told ASFKAB, Dill Pickle, and Bologna 9:30), we headed to the subway and randomly ran into the Bitter Commie Grad Student.  The 3 of us loudly make our way down to View Bar in Chelsea.  Apparently Bologna wasn’t lying in her email from earlier when she listed her recent close encounter of the 8th (and thick) kind as one of the things to celebrate that night b/c we had a short convo about her love of poppers.  Fun!

5 or 6 $2 frozen cosmos later (thanks, Fung Wah), they rolled me down the street to Splash for the blackout party (yes, yes, the copyright case is pending).  I’m not even going to pretend like I know what happened at Splash.  Somehow, I made it up the stairs and ran into our friend Dina LoHands who insisted on taking me to Cafeteria, not for food but for more drinks (it just happened to be after midnight, which means it just happened to be my birthday).  The thing about Miss LoHands is that he always knows people wherever he goes, yet it’s never clear whether he has just met them and they adore him or if they’ve known him for years and adore him.  She’s that kinda girl!  It’s also not clear whether she’s in her 20s, 30s, or a really well preserved low 40s, but even the DMV doesn’t know her age!  

Dina LoHands picks up these straight girls and starts buying everyone drinks, laughing as she tosses her AMEX black at the bar tender.  At some point, I remember that I do indeed have to work the next day, so I thank the gracious Miss LoHands and take my leave.

As I’m walking to the A train, a friendly guy pulls up in a Toyota Highlander (not hybrid) and offers me a ride home (this isn’t the first time this has happened after a sloppy night at Splash).  He dropped me off and pulled his dick out.  Uh, thanks but no thanks, bye.  Did I mention you have to at least buy me a drink first?  Yeah.