“It’s all torsos and cocks!”

Before Soho Crash arrived, I asked SoHo Crush about him, and one of the things SoHo Crush said was that Crash was very “old fashioned” as far as dating.  I responded, “but he’s never lived in New York.”

SoHo Crush had somewhere to be pretty early in the afternoon on Sunday (okay, 3 pm), so he left me at his place with SoHo Crash.  I wasn’t really planning to hang around, but I had about 3 minutes of battery left between my phone and my computer, so I desperately needed the electricity.  SoHo Crash invited the female friend with whom he had moved to NY to come over for a bit.

The 3 of us start talking, and the subject of online dating comes up.  SoHo Crash insists at first that he's “old fashioned” about dating.  But you’ve never lived in New York.  He asks what sites were free, and at first I tell him Adam4adam , but we opt for Manhunt since he’s cute (and, most importantly, white).  His friend is loving the idea, but he only agrees to go along "as a joke" (riiiiight).  Thinking back, maybe I should have directed him to Gaydar , but if he can survive Manhunt (which is much more popular but more hook-up-focused than date-friendly), he can do any site.

So he goes to write up his profile, and of course he has no idea what to write.  “Well, why don’t we sign on to my account so you can get a look at what other profiles look like.”  We scroll through, and I teach him the Add Friend Trick (basically, if you don’t pay for manhunt, you can see other members’ secondary profile pictures a bit larger by clicking “add friend”). 

“This has to be the site my uncle was talking about,” says the girl.  “It’s all torsos and cocks!”  She yells, “Beef!” at the profiles with muscles.  We like her (but we gotta teach her WOOF! ).

So he gets a vague idea of how the site works.  We send a guy an email from my account, which gets no response (surprise, surprise).  After about 20 minutes or so, it's time for him to spread his little manhunt legs wings and make his own profile.  Plus I want to sign off before anyone relevant notices I'm signed on ("I thought you said you never go on Manhunt!").

A list of things to avoid in one's screenname:

            One's age (that’s what the age blank is for)

            One's race  (there’s also a race blank)

            The word boy/boi/etc. 

            The current year (who knew 'SoHoMuscle2001' wouldn't be clever today?!)

He actually comes up with a very cute screenname.  I chuckle to myself as he avoids all the predictable blanks of someone who “would never actually meet anyone on this site” (cock size, role/position, what he’s into, etc.). 

Then it comes time for the pictures.  Being an actor, of course, he has some professional headshots.  They're nice and all, but anyone who actually thought about it would avoid someone with exclusively professional photos (see Jackie Beat's “Retouch My Body”).  It comes up that we can take pictures of him with our iPhones (luckily SoHo’s place gets a lot of light). 

“Oh my god!” exclaims the very excited female friend.  “Take off your shirt and—“

“No.  I’m not taking a shirtless picture.”

“Oh, come on.  It’ll be brilliant!”

10 minutes later, we have the following photo:

Brilliant, no?  Did I mention the jacket’s actually really small on him and says “Six Flags Magic Mountain” on the back?  Yeah.

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