that's a Penthouse, btw

I figured if we can get 20 people to come to View Bar, we can get 10 people to come to 6 Flags Great Adventure.  Easy right?  NOT!  The people who plan NYC Pride were doing a gay night at 6 Flags and offering discounted tickets for groups of 10+.  My original plan was to get a group and buy the tix (you have to pick them up in the Village in person during office hours) on one of the days around Labor Day that I had taken off (because I get paid by the hour).

 Everyone was expected to pay in cash in advance and to remind me to make a note in my phone that they had paid.  It took a good two weeks after Labor Day before I had money from enough people to buy the tickets (there goes an hour of overtime)!  And then I had volunteered to coordinate rides.  Did I mention that I’m an idiot?

I told the girls to meet me at View Bar on Thursday at 11:15 to pick up their tickets.  Meanwhile, the Architect, who is now serving as part-time professor at his alma mater, had his students in the City for a field trip that just happened to coordinate with a fabulous rooftop party.  Remember the party he took me to on Fire Island?  Same couple.

The Architect texted me that his phone was going to die, so he gave me the address, which includes PH1 (that's a Penthouse, btw).  Oh, yes!  I breezed past the doorman (who didn’t even bother calling up), and arrived at the top floor.  Luckily, the Architect was right by the door when I walked in; I would have really been uncomfortable with a can-we-help-you/who-invited-her moment.  The Architect took me around and (re)introduced me.  “Did you eat?  The caterers just put the food away, but they had some amazing halibot and filet…”  That’s exactly what I need.  To be seen as the gold-digging date stuffing his face with rich-people food.  I’ll just stick with the first half, thanks.   

According to the Architect, this place was a $10 million property that they had on the market. And they had decorated with even more than that in art (including a Picasso original sketch that they had gotten from an art dealer as a thank you for all their other purchases… because people on that level really need freebies).  The older of the couple headed up a firm that took on Johnny Cochran as a junior partner and then let him go because he wasn’t pulling in enough billings at $30 million. 

Selected quotes:

“He’s 77, and his partner’s 37, and they’ve been together for 17 years, so they’re planning a huge celebration in 3 years: he’ll finally only be twice as old as his partner.”

“The Fire Island wax museum couple.”  Not the hostesses, but two of the guests.

“I’d introduce you, but both those clusters have at least one person whose name I don’t remember.”  Story of my life!

“No red wine?  Darling, you have a $10 million home; you can afford to replace upholstery!”

“Well [insert guest] has invited me to stay at his place on the marina in Ft. Lauderdale, but [the host couple] is always in South Beach when I go down there, and it’s so nice to stay in their guest property [across the street from their residence] and be within walking distance of [list of South Beach amenities].”

“They own the penthouse next door to this one as well, and one of the showers in there (they have 4 or 5 showers) is never used.  So they just filled it with watches in water-resistant cases.  For a while, [host’s name] bought one every time he won a case.”

After realizing how worthless my life is/will be the party, I had a half hour before I said I would be at View Bar, so we stopped at one of Hal’s favorite restaurants for a drink.  We ended up not leaving until 11:15 (when I was supposed to be at View), and there was not a cab to be found in the Village!  The Architect ends up jumping into a van that some tourists had stopped and barking out View’s address, closing the door on the guy trying to call over the rest of his group.  It took me a full second to realize what was happening (I didn’t think he would ever do that), but I got over it and hopped in.

View was a mess for me.  Everyone had a million questions about 6 flags and getting transportation down.  And I had forgotten someone who had given me money, which meant I was one ticket (and a seat in a car) short!  I gave the guy my ticket since it was totally my bad.  Eventually, I just told everybody, “There’s nothing that can’t be solved tomorrow.  I’m not talking about 6 Flags anymore tonight.” 

The group wanted to go to Splash, but they took forever to leave View (I don’t think they even got to Splash until about 1).  I had left them at View, and I was literally a few seconds from walking out of Splash before I saw Bottomless Pitt (shirtless) leading the others down the stairs.  I figured why not. 

There was shaking.  There was grinding.  I even got to see a prelude to a 3-some.  I remember someone pointing to the bar and saying, “Who’s that guy Bitter Commie Grad Student’s talking to?!”  20 minutes later, he’s in the middle of a grinding oreo.  I think he ended up dancing with everyone in our Crew, but I’m not exactly sure how that story ended because I had to get home. 

Did I mention there was a Baña Party the next night?  Yeah!

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