an effort to avoid inter-clique awkwardness

For Thanksgiving, I got Thursday and Friday off from work.  So logically, Wednesday is the new Friday, and Tuesday is the new Thursday!  That’s what I told myself as I proceeded from Posh’s happy hour to The Hangar’s 2-4-1 til 2am with tOWGA. 

Me: “You’re having another?  Are you gonna be okay to drive?”

tOWGA: “I’m not sure.  Maybe you’ll have to drive.”

*scoff* “Maybe you just need some time to sober up.  Bartender!”

Text from Morehead: At Pieces… I’m hugging the ATM machineeeeeeeee!

I couldn’t decide which was worse: the fact that the M in ATM stands for machine or that he had held out/repeated a silent vowel.

Wednesday at work was fun (not), but I stayed at the office later than intended to work on music.  I dragged my weathered ass home between going to the gym and hopping a train/bus to the Almost East Side to help MicHELLe with her Manhunt profile (with a couple of cocktails, of course). 

“So that’s basically how it works.  But Adam4Adam is free.”

“Wait, really?  Then why the hell are we on Manhunt?”

“Honey, if you can swim with the sharks, you can swim with the fishes!  Plus, it’s good to be familiar with the leading name brand.”

I helped him get set up (and he even got a couple of emails) before we cabbed it over to Suite.  It’s not every Wednesday that the Ivy League Crew can get together for a night out, so I suggested we check out their Karaoke.  The thing is, Suite has karaoke every night except Friday and Saturday, which means a) karaoke is hugely popular among the Columbia gays or b) they couldn’t think of anything else to do because nobody goes anyway (which means it’d be super easy to get a ridiculous song in). 

I went in expecting a drag queen host, but it turned out to be a real girl (I think).  She was huge, sassy, and wearing way too much make-up, so close enough.  MicHELLe and I were first to arrive from the Crew, so we poured over the books looking for a song.

 

After listening to William Hung butcher Frank Sinatra’s My Way (I call him William Hung, not because he was Asian, but because he sounded just like him… except worse), we took the floor for a couple of songs.  We also enjoyed $5 blue margaritas and $3 long island shots!  Then the real reason why I suggested Suite came out.

“Hey, guys, No Parking’s having a huge party tonight.  Anyone down.”

Tutti: “Let’s go!”

Throughout the night, the guys wandered around the bar.  Something was in the air because it seemed everyone was getting some that night, including two members of the Ivy League Crew et al.  From.  Each.  Other.  Now, I’m not one to cock block, but maybe I should have made an effort to avoid inter-clique awkwardness rather than laughed my ass off when I saw them go out the door together. 

Urban Sprawl (clueless): "D. Kareem, why don't you share the cab with them."

Me: "Okay, a) I'm just downtown from here and b) no."

Then this cute, youngish guy started checking me out (I think… I can never remember how things get initiated when I’m involved).  We talk a bit, and the whole time, he has this corny (yet still kinda strangely sexy) sideways smile.  I find out he’s originally from Long Isand: Well, that explains the smile: he’s just a douchebag. 

On the way to his place in the Bronx (don’t judge me), I ask him about a scar on his neck.  Turns out he had a tumor when he was younger that left him partially paralyzed.  That could have been (more) awkward!  Luckily, most of the paralysis had worn off long ago (except in his smile). 

On my cold/windy/hung-over commute home (2 busses and a train!) I get a text from one of my slutty friends from the night before that contained some great news!  Did I mention I won $10 from a bet?  Yeah!

For another awkward situation at No Parking, click here.


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