passed out on 23rd st and Madison

Bitter Commie Grad Student wanted to host her annual Nihilist Anti-Valentine’s Day Party on V-day, but Bottomless Pitt and I convinced her to change it to the day before (ironically, we had actual Valentine's Day plans... or at least we did at the time the invite was sent out).  

After staying late at work (thank god for overtime), I arrived a few drinks behind everyone else. It was really only 9:30, but they had gotten an early start.  Most of the usual suspects were in the house, following the mandatory all-black dress code (do dark jeans count?).  I decided to take Bitter Commie’s suggestion and apply “guy liner”.  Can we have a short conversation about how hard it is to apply liquid liner? 

Not long after I arrived, some young guy that I vaguely recognized arrived with a real girl.  Bottomless Pitt was talking to them in the kitchen, and I really had to excuse myself because I could feel the brain cells going dead in my skull.  At one point, the real girl dropped her cup on the kitchen floor; I had to whisper my favorite line: “Who invited her?!”

(I should state that she seemed like a sweet enough girl, and I didn’t actually resent her presence.  I don’t resent the presence of any real girl who isn’t annoying.  Some of my best friends are black real girls.)

This odd couple had been in the party about 30 minutes before the real who-invited-her moment occurred.  “Oh my god, look.  This boy can barely stand up!”  God only knows what she was doing before she showed up.  Then the bitch starts crying.  They helped Drunk Boy to the bathroom where Frat Boy and two other people spent no less than 10 minutes trying to make him throw up.

Bottomless Pitt: “I don’t know why Bitter Commie invites this kid.  He does this all the time!”

Me: “Commie, really?  You invited her.”

Bitter Commie: “What?  I choose to be a mentor.”

Me: “And your obviously doing a bang-up job.  Keep it up!”

With a glare, Bitter Commie helped get Drunk Boy down the stairs to the building's front door where Drunk Boy and his real-girl friend stayed for at least 5 minutes before attempting to open the door. 

Apparently, he whipped his dick out and started peeing on the street in the process (not) catching a cab (with the help  of 3 people). 

Bottomless Pitt: “Ugh, Med School Mess [who had been drinking since about 4] was downstairs smoking, and she made me help her carry Drunk Boyback up the stairs." 

Me: “WTF?!  You brought her back?!”

Bottomless Pitt: “Yeah.  We told her real-girl friend she as too hot to waste a good night out, so we sent her on her way.”

Me: “Let me get this straight correct.  You brought Drunk Boy back, and you sent the one person with any obligation to her away?  Nice, hun.”

Bottomless Pitt: “If it were up to me, Drunk Boy woud be passed out on 23^rd st and Madison.  I don’t know that bitch.”

Me: “Nothing like a cold and a street-curb pillow to make you learn your lesson.”

I believe that we’re all grown, and we are responsible for our decisions.  First off, you don’t get so drunk that people have to take care of you.  A) you're putting a damper on your friends' night, and B) that’s what college is for.  You also don’t get drunk at a party full of acquaintances. Occasionally, we all mess up, but I’m not the one to support anyone’s bad habit.  Just like I have bad consequences when I eat cheese (in a cheese-centric culture), one who has bad consequences from drinking either shouldn’t drink or should be ready to bear the consequences thereof.  Point. Blank.

If you couldn't tell, the video was edited from about 3 minutes of this party.

Eventually, Bottomless Pitt kicked everyone out of Bitter Commie Grad Student's room and got the kid to pass out peacefully within 2 minutes.  The whole situation made Bottomless Pitt and me so agitated that we ditched for Chi Chi’s before enjoying a 2-4-1 at the Hangar’s late-night happy hour.  The night concluded with us meeting up with everyone else at Pieces.

Did I mention MicHELLe made an appearance with her (black!) date from the night before?  Yeah.

The last major holiday we celebrated was NYE (oh boy).  Click here to mop up the mess and see my playlist for the night.

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