Hope you didn’t wear deodorant!

Me: Anybody wanna do the xtopher st pier before gym [bar] and/or eagle?  3:30?

Around 4, Bottomless Pitt strutted up the Pier in something sleeveless and slutty.  What he revealed next was nothing short of awe-inspiring.

Gold. Lammé. Shorts.  The same ones from his Halloween costume (okay, okay, they were sort of copper, but I like saying 'gold lammé')! Notice the subtle thong (with de-snap-able straps).

Not long after I caught my breath from cackling at his sluttery bravery, Bitter Commie Grad Student and his roommate strolled over.  Of course, I had packed a Gatorade Bottle, thinking most people that would show up to the Pier would bring alcohol as well, and I offered them some.  I looked over about 15 minutes later, and the shit is about two thirds empty.  “Hey, can you pass me the ‘juice’ back.”

2 minutes later:

“What happened to the ‘juice’?”

“Oh, you mean the juice that I brought that you drank about half of?  Yeah, I finished that off.”

“Oh… okay, well, we’re gonna go.”

Nice.

Luckily, Bottomless Pitt was packing class extra alcohol, which mixed surprisingly well with the bright blue Gatorade he’d picked up on the way. This is why we're friends.

Earlier, I had gotten a text from TTT:

Hey

we r on our way down

TTT and MicHELLe

xoxo

I responded:

Toards

The far end

Of the awning thingies

D. Kareem

About 20 minutes later:

We r jogging it from 104 but we at 48 now

Thank god for my metabolism!  I don’t even run for the train.

TTT and MicHELLe jogged up smiling all energetically in their running shorts (I think they took the train from 42^nd so they’d be fresh when the arrived at the Sunny Gay Mecca).  Why were they both wearing their Ivy-League school’s shirts?!  Personally, I wouldn’t desecrate my school’s branding by wearing it for sweating. But then again, while I wouldn't work out in Giorgio shirt, would definitely work out in Gap and Old Navy tshirts. It all makes sense now (love you guys).

“Where are you guys going after this?”

“The Eagle!  You guys should come; with all that sweat, you'll be a hit with the leather daddies.  Hope you didn’t wear deodorant!”

The Eagle is close to 11^th ave, but the nearest subway stop is on 8^th ave.  Often, by the time one gets to 9^th ave, one can tell exactly who is on their way to the Eagle.  This phenomenon happened with us on this particular day: a tall white muscular dude with a buzz cut wearing jeans and a tank top (maybe in his late 40s) paused at the corner of 10^th ave as if he were making a decision.  He turned north instead of heading west towards the Eagle.  

I shouted at him, “It’s this way!”

He turned around, laughing. “Do you know if there’s food around there?”

“You know, they usually grill burgers and such during the summer on Sundays, but I’m not sure about today.”

“Ah, well, I’m just gonna go over to this kebab cart.”

“See you in there…. Woof!”

Turns out they were grilling that day.  Unfortunately, they were charging $6 for well-done (as in no pink, not excellently prepared) burgers with no lettuce, tomato, pickles, or bbq sauce.  Could have gotten twice the meat in Chelsea with all the fixin’s and fries for that price, but it’s not like there was much competition in the [mostly warehouse] area.

Note to self: never blog hungry.

The rooftop at the Eagle was crowded as always.  So much so that people could hardly see Bottomless Pitt’s gold shorts.  I got us a round of tequila shots (“Sorry, I don’t have salt” + forgot my screwdriver = questionable service).  As usual, TTT ran into some hot older guys with hot older friends that he knew that had no interest in talking to me . o O (that’s not even TTT's target audience!).  Then again, we all got a feel on his older friend’s (very nice) ass, so it wasn’t a total loss. 

After an hour or so, TTT and MicHELLe ditched to “jog” back uptown, and Bottomless Pitt and I decided to go to Chi Chi’s for 2-4-1.  That quickly changed to the Hangar when we saw the line at Chi Chi’s.  While we were working on our first round of drinks, we ran into a guy I hooked up with a few times about a year ago.  He proceeded to buy Bottomless Pitt and me three rounds of drinks before calling it a night. 

By this time, you’d think we’d had enough.  But not before we went to XES for karaoke (it would have been Greenhouse, but we had already missed the open bar).  For some reason, I decided it would be a good idea for us to do “Damaged”.  The song AND the choreo!  We were a goddamn mess, but as Bottomless Pitt pointed out, Danity Kane has had worse performances.  Then we did “Single Ladies”. 

Did I mention this might be why we are Single Ladies?  Yeah.

Did I also mention that SoHo Crush emailed me the following picture from a friend of a friend of a friend that I traced back to a Facebook profile of a queen I don't even know?

It would be the one time I forget an actual speedo. Shit.

Click here to check out an insane Sunday night.

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