tequila sunrises with Campari

After seeing your all-time favorite music act perform, life gets a bit dull. Thursday was a friend of a friend’s birthday. It was fun, but the first person I recognized when I walked in the venue was Morehead, who was already going at it with this Indian(-looking) guy in the middle of the dance floor. The night was kinda downhill from there (though I did end up at Splash downstairs with my shirt off). Friday was also fun with not much to report, but we were all looking forward to Saturday’s CEOs and Corporate Hoes party.

After grabbing a drink with Loosefur in Hell’s Kitchen, I headed uptown around 10:10. CoLaw, our Real-Girl hostess, greeted me with a double kiss and told me, “Urban Sprawl’s in the kitchen… being a slut.”

“Well, I’m sure she doesn’t need my help with that, so I’m gonna go change.”

See, the thing about this theme (brilliant as it is) is that people spill things when they drink. I only have one dark suit, and I’m not a fan of wearing it to parties. And I don’t exactly have corporate drag attire (not an “executive transvestite”). But I do have tons of swimwear. And what does every gay CEO have? A house/pool boy!

So imagine my shock when both Med School Mess and Bottomless Pitt came in short shorts (Pitt had cut hers this time instead of rolling them under). It actually made for a really entertaining "Single Ladies" performance.

People came up with some great costumes. CoLaw and her boyfriend did an Ashley Dupree and Governor Spitzer.

And there was all sorts of corporate sluttery at the party.

Later in the night, Bottomless Pitt’s roommate convinced some Real Girls that one could make tequila sunrises with Campari. 5 minutes later, one of them was in the bathroom throwing up. 10 minutes later, this young lady tried to round up people for shots.

TIME TO GO!

Of course, we went to Suite, as is customary after a CoLaw house party. It was certainly a night of performances.

For future reference, they play "Lady Marmalade" every time we go to Suite, and Bottomless Pitt always calls Lil' Kim so he can have the orgasms of "uh uh uh"s at the end.

It was particularly busy that night, and there was one patron in particular that stood out to me.

Me: “Check out this tall white guy with the white hair!”

Bottomless Pitt: “God, how old is he.”

Me: “Who cares! He has a fucking killer smile! And just because his hair is white doesn't mean he's old. Look at his face, dude!”

I tried to eye flirt with the guy (still in an orange speedo, mind you) and convey myself as generally approachable. He seemed to be checking me out (I guess the whole bar was watching our group at that point), but he was certainly taking his time with making an advance.

A half hour later, he and Bottomless Pitt are grinding, and I hear, “You have a killer smile!” . o O (First my style (cowboy boots), then my drink, then my man, and now my line?! Oo, this bitch ‘bout to die!) I grabbed him by the hair and slapped him across the face. He staggered for a couple of seconds before slurring a “No she didn’t” and tackling me by the waist.

Okay, we didn’t actually get in a fight. No man in a bar will ever be that serious. Plus it wasn’t like I was jumping on his dick myself. In fact, I went over and talked to the guy’s friend as Bottomless Pitt was trying to seal the deal.

Bottomless Pitt: “He’s leaving. He gave me his phone number.”

See, it' s a good thing she stole him because the last thing I need right now is another phone number to identify the morning after. . o O (Who the hell is “John Killer Smile from Suite”?!)

As soon as Killer Smile left, Bottomless Pitt was on some other white guy’s ass. She amazes me.

Some guy from somewhere in the South asked for my number. I don’t remember being particularly intrigued with him, but I gave it to him anyway. He didn’t have his phone on him: as if he would remember it for the rest of the night!

The following also happened. Tee hee hee.

Did I mention I woke up the next day half off the bed and still in the orange speedo? Yeah.

My last blog post about the En Vogue concert/drag-queen hookup was kinda late on Wednesday. If you missed it, click here.

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