tossed him in a cognitive trash bin

Facebook invite for Key Club: Not attending. . o O (There’s no way in hell I’m gonna end up that far east on a Thursday.)

The first time I went out after I got back from Vegas was a Thursday night that started with an open bar. I had to stay at work a bit late, but I hustled down to New York Health and Racket for a Men Event event that featured Midori margaritas. Bottomless Pitt was already there, and he had already seen yet another skinny white dude he had hooked up with.

“He’s cute. You’re not gonna say hi?”

“Uh, no.”

“Was the sex that bad?”

“Not even. His ass is amasing.” Pitt took a second to recollect. “But he was just really awkward.”

“Have you met your friends, hun.”

“Good point. I’ll text him.” Pitt reached for his phone.

“He’s standing 3 feet away, and you’re gonna text?”

“What am I doing? I don’t even have his number!”

“Look at Miss Honey over here. He’s cute!” I said, pointing to a noticeably young guy working his way through the sparse crowd.

“Um, that’s my friend from undergrad. He’s the one doing an Urban Semester.”

“Damn, is [the college town] that bad? 'Bump study abroad, I just need to get to the nearest real city!'”

“Shut the fuck up!”

The friend greeted us and didn’t introduce himself to me.

“Did we meet?” I whispered to Bottomless Pitt as he left us to get a drink.

“I don’t think so.”

“Hi, I’m D. Kareem, by the way,” I said, extending my hand when he got back.

“I know. We’ve met,” he said with a smile.

“I remember now. It was at that guy’s party in Williamsburg,” Bottomless Pitt chimed in.

“Were you not old enough to drink back then?”

“Yeah.”

“Ooooh, okay!”

And because of this, I probably tossed him in a cognitive trash bin when I met him the first time.

Urban Sprawl showed up about a half hour before we left. That’s when we realized that Key Club was just across 5^th ave from where we were. If only we had realized that when I got the invite on Facebook, we could have saved the $5 cover.

I spotted the guy from the gym. You know, the who’s already hot (ass included) but still works with a trainer. You’ve seen him with his boyfriend, but he still gives you that smile that doesn’t say enough to initiate action but says too much to be ignored. Yeah, him. Well, tonight, he was a lot more smiley. A lot more than smiley. Then I felt a hand on the crotch on my jeans. By midnight, we were in a cab to his place. By 1, I was cursing whiskey dick.

Friday was definitely sleepy considering Gym Boy had to go to work early (but, I could walk there from his place). By the time I grabbed dinner and went home to change, ASFKAB’s birthday happy hour at Gym Bar was about halfway done. I hustled back down to Chelsea to find that the Long Island Gays had (not surprisingly) turned into a mess. Within a minute of my arrival, I was already shown a picture of one of the Long Island Gays licking some stranger’s (very nice) ass cheek.

Did I mention the sucking of helium out of balloons?

Once the Ivy League Crew was good and drunk, getting them to Chi Chi’s was like shooting fish in a barrel. I mean, MicHELLe didn’t even have time to close her umbrella because she was so eager to get on the train!

Saturday was a house party in the Upper West Side with the Long Island Gays. We stayed there til about 2:30 before I yelled, “Let’s go to SUITE!” And they did.

I had to chuckle when the staff  was like, “Where have you been?” and “We haven’t seen you in a while!” I remember hearing “Lady Marmalade” (again). And I had a photo shoot with the trans woman cocktail waitress in the bathroom. 

I should not that I have heard that she is a transwoman, but I have no concrete confirmation of this.

When they turned the lights on to kick us out, I tapped MicHELLe on the shoulder and said, “Get-Me-Bodied walk out the door. 5-6-7…” As we sang the prechorus to the song, we did the infamous walk across the bar and out the door (see 0:55 in the video for reference).

Did I mention I had convinced half a party to ride with me halfway home, and they enjoyed it? Yeah!

The gays took over 6 Flags! Click here to check it out.

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