Sin, like Sin City!

My father's side of the family usually has some kind of get together for the 4th of July. It started as some great-great grandfather's birthday celebration (many slaves and emancipated blacks didn't have records of their birthdays, so they often claimed the 4th as theirs). This year, my grandmother was turning 80. Not that she was a slave; we were just celebrating a week early.

Anyway, my uncle had a cookout the afternoon before, so my grandmother, her sisters, and most of their ([great] grand) children came out to my semi-famous uncle's house on Long Island.

My semi-famous uncle's son, Tom (ridiculously rich lawyer, divorced, 2 kids, player), showed up with his trademark accessory: an Asian woman. I saw her mile of cleavage and thought she was his ex from when I was in college. She was wearing a bikini top (the kind that ties at your neck) under a sundress, and the perfect perkiness of her boobs made me question their authenticity.

She smiled and introduced herself as "Sin, like Sin City!" in the cutest accent. I prepared to be entertained. When my grandma came out, Tom introduced her simply as "Sin", to which she quickly added, "Like Sin City!" my grandma's response: a pricelessly judgemental "Oh." Did I mention that my grandma's an ordained Christian Science minister? Yeah.

Tom's older sister made more of an effort to be friendly: "Sin, do you drink?"

"Yeah! I drink a LOT!"

"Well... I don't drink a lot, but I drink really fast! Let's get you something to sip on!"

You know I had to follow that convo.

Tom's step mother is the sweetest "may God's blessings be upon you" type chrisian woman ever. All her and my semi-famous uncle's trips to the Caribbean and Europe and Africa are "wonderful blessings" and "God's good graces!"

"Oh, is this Cynthia?! Welcome!"

"Oh, no. My name is Sin."

Tom's step mom paused. "Is that short for something?"

"No, Sin is my name." Sin turned around and pulled her hair to the side to reveal a SIN tattoo in red gothic print.

Uncomfortably laughing in utter shock. "Who named you SIN?!"

"My parents. I was born on Halloween night, and they named me Sin and then sent me to a convent for 10 years to make up for their sins! But it means 'heart' in Chinese [also spelled xin]."

Tom's step mom was visibly relieved with that last statement. I was dying inside. Tom's step mom put a hand on Sin's shoulder: "You are a beautiful person. And in our family, we love everybody. And I'ma pray for you."

I had to leave the room.

Later that night, Tom, Sin, my brother, and I went to Tom's place in Brooklyn for drinks and some down time. After taking our drink orders, Sin kneeled on a pillow by the coffee table.

Me: "There's room if you wanna sit?"

Sin: "No, I'm fine here. Don't you know I'm Japanese?! We prefer the floor!"

. o O (Good thing I didn't ask if she was a Wondergirls fan.)

A half hour later, we were heading towards the Manhattan Bridge in a cab (because that's how Tom rolls). Sin started some light flirtation with the cab driver, having a whole conversation about his unusual name that she had somehow converted to "more lays in the city!" about a third of the way across the bridge, she shrieks, "This is a new York cab! Show me what you got! Show me what your working with!" He obviously wasn't paying attention to my cousin's "I don't think we need-". The driver's face lit up as he quickly glanced back at Sin. All I remember is lurching towards one guard rail. Then the other. Then ending up in the middle lane. She was all like "Woooooo!" and we were like "Shiiiiiiit!"

Cabbie: "You want sonme more?!"

Tom: "No, no, no! That's quite alright."

Tom to Sin: "This spot is called APT. Like apartment."

Me: "Oh, wow. I always thought it was ATP, like biology."

Tom: "Like a unit of energy?"

Me: "Don't act like you're not a cool nerd, too! It runs in the damn family."

Tom brought over a tall Asian dude and introduced us. I figured they worked together or something, but Tom said in my ear, "I think this guy was trying to pick me up or something." So he more or less passed him off to the group. He danced with us for a bit before wandering off.

Tom: "If he would have touched my ass one more time, I'da had to fuck him up, man."

Me: "Dude, all you need to do is brush his hand away an give him a stern 'Chill with that!'"

Tom: "I guess..."

Shortly thereafter, Sin came to me and asked me what my 'type' was. I responded, "Vodka."

"Come on, I can find you somebody. "

"I'm really not on the hunt tonight, Sin."

"You don't seem like you're on the hunt. Very mellow." But she just had to hear me say it, "What do you like: tall, short... women, men?"

"I'm into guys!"

"Okay! What color? What ethnicity?!"

"The hot ethnicity! It really doesn't matter."

After a couple of drinks, we moved on to Gansevoort. There was a line. My cousin talked to the door guy, who said we'd be okay to get in with 3 guys and a girl, but that turned into table service by the time we got to the front (straight night at a straight bar). My brother has forgotten his credit card at APT (plus the girl whose number he had gotten was still there), so he ditched, and we went in.

The place was packed with done-up girls and guys in blazers from their work suits and vertical-striped button-downs. Sin wandered off, and when I came from the bathroom, my cousin was (already!) talking to a black girl and a white girl.

He introduced me. The white girl was nice enough, but the black girl somehow found it appropriate to shake hands without making eye contact. I somehow got out of her that she was visiting from Austin, TX. She had no reaction to my being from South Carolina (usually southerners are glad to find each other).

"I don't even see why this conversation should continue if he's not gonna buy a drink!"

Tom: "Oh, so it's like that? Well I guess everyone has a price, huh? Since we're basically bartering, i'm gonna put my bid in at $3. Will that work, or do you want to go up from there."

"Well, maybe you need to come down south and learn some manners!"

"D. Kareem, how old do you think she is? I'd put her at right about 23 or so."

"No, no, boo-boo, I'm 28. I just prefer to talk to men, not boys."

Now, my cousin can be a straight up asshole, but that only comes out when deserved. I'm not sure how his approach was, but he's a pretty smooth guy and knows how to step to a lady. I'm guessing her friend didn't do the best job at showing her the New York scene, and she was fed up by the time we met her. After she walked away, Tom laughed and said, "She's a black girl in the most pretentious place in the City! Attitude or not, no one's showing her love here! That's just the way it is."

. o O (So it's not just the gays!)

Around 2, my bro texted Tom to get his keys. For some reason, Tom thought my brother was trying to take the girl to Tom's apartment (there was a time when that would have been a definite possibility), but my brother was ready to crash. Sin had already been summoned, so I took my leave. Did I mention that no one I knew was at Pieces or the Hangar? Yeah.

Click here to check out the last time I went home to see the Fam in South Carolina.

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