Music Review: Solange

I couldn’t wait to hear Solange’s newest work, Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams.  I was a fan of her first single, “Feelin’ You (Part II)” back in 2002, but apparently no one else in the US felt the same at the time.  People all over have been telling me that Sol-Angel... was a great album, and you can’t go wrong with the Neptunes on your side, right?

Solange leads off with "God Given Name", which sounds like a late 70s smooth-operator-type song.  It sets the tone of the album, dismissing the usual pop paradigms for women and featuring whispery, (strategically?) not-so-perfectly-tuned background vocals.  It plays like an extended interlude.

Cee Lo Green lent his pen for "T.O.N.Y."  It’s a very 60s track that evokes an Alicia-Keys feel.  It’s refreshingly acoustic: even the slightly de-tuned piano fits right in with the track. 

I love "Dancing in the Dark".  The live drums drive the instrumental under the horn riff, which has a call-and-response pattern with the xylophone.  All this is lightly punctuated by flutes.  The only thing I don’t like is when Solange does that i-don't-have-a-whistle-register-but-my-head-voice-is-really-high thing that I hate.

 

"Would've Been the One" is a well crafted song.  Where the words and melody leave off, the instrumental picks up, keeping the momentum.  I love the gently descending triplets in the intro.  What struck me was the flow of the pre-chorus. It really drives with the 8th notes with alternating accents (trochaic in meter).  He was a cheater, but she says she was number one.  Keep telling yourself that, hun.

When I heard "Sandcastle Disco", the percussion made me think of N.E.R.D.’s first album (the producer is Jack Splash… I’m sure they’ve worked together). Solange conveys this song well with great dynamics. This song is the first taste of electronic-sounding instrumentation. But doesn't lose its old-school feel; it just updates it a bit. 

By the time "I Decided" rolled around, I was starting to get tired of the convos with the engineer on the intros.  Asking him to "turn me up" hit it's peak when Aaliyah did it in "4 Page Letter" in '97.  The track blends very 60s elements (the hand claps, the piano, the plain bassline) with much more electronic elements (that buzz sound [Hi, Neptunes!] and airy string chords).  I never noticed the really cool bridge until I listened to the album (we love the 6-bar cycles), but then again, I didn’t really like this song until I listened to the album.  To spice it up a bit, the chorus grows at the end, which is nice in a world of cut-and-paste pop.  Solange pushes her voice really hard at the beginning of each phrase in the chorus, which I found quite comical.

"Valentine's Day" feels an Amy Whinehouse song until the chorus. I called Neptunes on the production when I first heard it, but it's actually a Bama Boyz production (probably best known, if at all, for their remixes).  Possibly my favorite line on the album: "How can I fix your coffee if you live so damn far away".  I'm a sucker for details like that. Thanks Ne-yo.

I finally got some tuned background vocals (for the most part) in "6 O'clock Blues"!  It’s another Whinehouse-esque instrumental, but the words aren't as dark. She really sounds great here.

"Ode to Marvin" is a great nod to Marvin's style, but the stylistic references aren’t as brilliant in the throw-back context of the album.  Every song so far sounds like it’s from this time period.  On a more boring conventional album, it would have been more special.  

"I Told You So" has a very square instrumental with almost no syncopation; however, the vocal slide Solange does in the hook is a very cool effect that helps to brighten up the dark mood of the track and helps to distinguish the song. It also has a stellar bridge (in terms of lyrics and delivery).

Breaking away from the acoustic sound of the previous tracks, "Cosmic Journey" comes as a breath of fresh air with all electronic sounds.  It’s exactly like what you'd expect from the title.  Of course, I love the triple meter.  I obviously wasn’t very familiar with Bilal at all because until I looked him up just now, I thought he was a socially-conscious rapper (à la Black Eyed Peas before they got the girl).  The end of the song gets weird.  You think it's over when the instrumental fades, but the vocals keep going.  This sort of 2001-A-Space-Odyssey-updated techno-ish track fades up over the next minute and a half as it turns into an epilogue slash extended interlude.  The last 45 seconds is a full-on trance beat under their wandering voices.  Not sure where I like where we end up, but it’s truly a journey.  

"This Bird" is a nostalgic song over a minimalist electronic track that also sounds very modern 2001-ish. She truly separates herself from her non-cursing older sister as she coos "shut the fuck up!"  It has very 20th-century intervals in the background vocals (i.e., not what the classical or pop ear is used to… a lot of dissonance and “weird”-sounding chords... notes that sound like they don't belong together).  I wonder how she recorded these background vocals.  They seem so random, but maybe she can read sheet music.  Either way, this was probably the hardest song to record.  5 minutes into the song, she says "the song ain't over yet."  It transforms into a sort of Old Negro Spiritual for the last 45 sec.

The album closes with "I Decided, Pt. 2 [Freemasons Remix]".  It’s a cool interpretation of the song that shows a different side of Freemasons. 

If anyone had any doubts as to whether Solange would be able to differentiate herself from her sister, this should shut them up quick, fast, and in a hurry!  This album couldn’t be farther from I Am… Sasha Fierce, and theoretically, I’d recommend this album before her sister’s.  There’s definitely no “Single Ladies” dance single, but much like Kanye’s latest, it’s a solid concept album that works really well as a whole.  The “Cosmic Journey” and “This Bird” tracks are a bit beyond my artsy scope, but I can appreciate the effort to be different.  

I’m so surprised that after 10 years in the business Matthew Knowles (father and executive producer) will not let go of the Part-1-Part-2 marketing gimmick that followed Destiny’s Child until they broke free on their final album (well, "final" album until the reunion tour)!  And does anyone hear echoes of a young Michael Jackson in Solange’s voice?  Anyway, it’s a great album.  And props to her for getting writing credits on just about every song (primary on many).  It’s a goddamn shame that something that went out on a limb and worked as well as this did didn’t get a Grammy nomination!

Suggested Tracks:

Dancing in the Dark

I Decided

Sandcastle Disco

Maybe:

T.O.N.Y

Would've Been the One

Valentine's Day

I Told You So

These are the songs that I think stand alone the best individually, but the album as a whole is definitely worth buying (especially at $7.99 on iTunes!).

Check out my review of Lady Gaga's album here.

South Carolina is so ridiculous.

Many of you know that I’m from Columbia, SC.  I only go home once a year because, outside of my parents, I have few strong ties to this city.  Honestly, if I could get away with it, I’d only come back once every 2 or 3 years, but that’s more a money thing than anything else (i.e., I’d rather be saving for a trip to Vegas or for ATL Black Pride).

Just to give you an idea of our busy airport.  Those are all the gates.

And I never get a big plane anymore.  It’d be nice to stand up straight for once while I travel.

Thankfully, my dad was waiting for me when I landed the afternoon of Christmas Day (I’ve definitely had to wait for him for like 20 minutes… we live 15 minutes from the airport).  When we arrived at home, my mom was there alone, which was nice because I hadn’t gotten enough sleep (of course).  We spent the next couple of hours watching A Christmas Story in HD.

As you can see, I come from an incredibly wealthy background, but heiress just comes off so pretentious!

My player brother and my attitude-laden sister (both in their late 30s) came over with their kids.  The talk of the day was that my bro-in-law ask my brother’s 5-year-old daughter, “Who’s your favorite uncle?”  She answered, “D. Kareem!”  My brother (her father) didn’t think she remembered who I was.  Asshole.

They’re not sisters; they’re first cousins.

As usual, there was way too much food in the fridge.  My mother always feels the need to announce to me what food is in the fridge.  Just in case I can’t see through the clear Ziplock bags.  It’s sweet, though; one of the many ways in which she spoils her youngest child.

My mom insisted that we give gifts before dinner, so I grabbed the AMEX gift cards that I had personalized with a sharpie on the plane.  I was able to snag a couple of nice jackets from my job, so those became my mom and sisters’ presents (I was really tempted to keep one, but both were mediums).  As gag gifts, My mom gave all her kids fragrance sampler kits that she had probably gotten for free somewhere, but she later gave me exactly what I wanted for Christmas: a card from her and Dad (okay, from her and she wrote "Mom and Dad") with cash.  She made fun of me for actually reading the card.

Really, the best thing I got on Christmas Day was information.  One of the few things that I do like about the South is that they serve sweet tea.  Someone in the Low Country had the brilliance to mix this delicious flavor with vodka.  Enter Fire Fly Vodka.  I was really excited until I remembered that I don’t really have the patience to make sweet tea.  My dad kept saying, "It's sweet tea with vodka!" and I'd have to chime in, "Um, it's 70 proof.  That's definitely vodka with sweet tea flavoring."  Then again, he can't have more than 2 beers without getting a headache. 

I received the upsetting news that more family was coming into town the day after Christmas.  It’s always good to see family (for me, anyway… in small doses), but I was concerned about the comfortable bed and private room I was planning to sleep in.  My family has a tradition of giving beds to older members of the family and making younger family members scavenge for couches, futons, and other “sleeping” surfaces.  Luckily, my mother assured me that no one would be taking my room (which is actually still referred to as my sister’s room… what we call "D. Kareem's Room" turned into a second study with a futon during my sophomore year of college).

On Friday, my mom’s brother drove down from the (much greater) DC area with my grandmother, my grandmother’s sister, and Hippy Cuz.  A distant cousin also came in (she was visiting family in North, SC… that’s right: North, South Carolina).  Then my preacher uncle came in from Ridgeland, SC in his Cadillac, and we had an even bigger dinner.  Most of the after-dinner conversation was my mother’s brother and the distant cousin talking trash about family that wasn’t present.  All of it was true, and all of it was hilarious.  We have quite the ghetto  troubled  colorful distant family.

That night, I went out with a friend from high school and his friends.  He graduated from an Ivy for undergrad, and his parents bribed him into moving back to Columbia for med school (a luxury car and an apartment may have gotten me back to SC straight out of college, too).  We had a couple of drinks at some straight bar in 5 Points (basically the old hot spot for barhopping downtown… still very popular among the University crowd) before moving on to the Art Bar in the Vista (the Vista is the newly revitalized part of downtown… more of a sophisticated scene… with noticeable empty storefronts on the side streets). 

I was tres excited about the new no-smoking law that passed.  Not sure if it was a city-wide thing or state-wide, but it’s kind of amazing considering SC is such a huge tobacco state.  Consequently, when we arrived at Art Bar, there were easily 30 people standing just outside the door smoking. 

This bar could get ripped up in a tornado and be dropped smack in the middle of Williamsburg, Brooklyn.  Aside from the $4.25 drink prices (up 25 cents since my last visit), it’d fit right in.  I'd assumed it was mostly gay, but it was also very heavily alternative/hipster, which made it hard to find anyone attractive tell.

Shit, I have to actually be able to drive at the end of the night!  I’m so never moving back!

The one guy whom I thought was kinda hot (a friend of a friend of my friend) ignored me the whole night, so I resorted to dancing to not-so-hot music (I really meant what I said about Williamsburg).  At one point, we decided to check out PTs 1109 (not to be confused with the other gay bar, PTs Cabaret).  (PS, can anyone find the word "gay" on either website?)  My high school friend convinced the door guy that we’d pay our cover at the bar via credit card at the bar, and it worked!  That’s the great thing about bars in Columbia, you can always pay via credit card.  

The place was as tragic as I remember from previous trips.  There were a few go gos, but they were all wearing sneakers, and the youngest looked like he hadn’t seen the inside of a gym in years.  About 21 of them.

We hauled ass back to Art Bar before calling it a night around 3.  My bed was waiting for me when I got home.  Love my mom.

My original intention when I left the house on Saturday was to use a couple of Best Buy gift cards to get a digital camera.  But I wanted to check out the Mall scene, so I dragged Hippy Cuz along.  When I walked out with 4 shirts, I told myself that it was okay because they were on sale.

The rest of Saturday involved a lot of leftovers munching and watching movies with the fam. 

Saturday night, I met up with a few female friends from high school.  Real girls.  We met at some straight bar in the Vista that was mostly older (I guess the Vista tends to be).  I joked that there were moms from our prep school there (but the part about the cheetah-print skirt was true).  A guy from high school showed up, too.  The first thing I thought when I saw him was, Whoa, he almost looks like he’s in the military with his fade haircut and his tucked in shirt.  But kids that go to prep school don’t end up in the Army right?  Well, it turns out he’s in the Air Force. 

I was wearing a tight, bright green tshirt and some tight jeans.  We were in an outdoor area at the back of the bar, and it seemed like half the people out there were staring at me.  Mind you, I was dancing a bit.  And I was black.  But it was mostly women who were staring, which I found kind of hilarious.  Did they see the gay or not?  Did they want make-up advice or dick?  One random girl came up and just started talking to me.  Shit, I have no idea what this dame’s name is!  I don't remember her from high school!  Turns out I never knew her; she was just loving my outfit. 

One of the girls introduced me to two guys.  I figured they were friends with each other, but they turned out to be two guys that she was dating.  At the same bar.  In the same group.  At the same time.  One was kind of short and extremely handsome with an amazing body.  The other was about 6’6” and seemed like that guy that’s every girl’s friend.  When she told me about her dilemma, I wondered if she was crazy.

“Then again, this one does have Tall-Skinny-White-Boy Syndrome.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t know about TSWB?!”

I proceeded to tell her about this prolific syndrome, which only heightened her strange attraction to this giant.  Meanwhile, the two guys are getting all buddy-buddy.  The hot one seems to be particularly enthusiastic, leading the tall one to believe that he’s gay.  And into him.  My dilemmaed friend encourages this suspicion.  

And y’all say I’m bad!

The music was a hell of a lot more fun than last night.  It turned into more or less of a hot-white-girls-going-"WOO!" party, which was fun.  But I really did want to see the old drama clique from high school, which was rumored to be hanging out at Art Bar (just a few bocks away).

I ditched around 1:20 (bars in Columbia close at 2:00 on Saturday because of blue laws… Friday nights are much later) and ran into a couple of the old drama kids at Art Bar.  The directed me to the Blue Martini to see the rest of the crew.  

I walked past some black straight club (which used to be the white gay club), and I got a “How you doin’,” which really made me nervous since there was no one but these club-goers on the street (and I was South of the Mason-Dixon line).  I had forgotten Wendy Williams is syndicated in Columbia.  

Anyway, I got to the Blue Martini and doled out hugs and “how are you”s for about 5 minutes before everyone dispersed and went home.

Sunday, I woke up for the 11:00 church service with my mom (Dad was there, but he’s on the choir).  Of course, all the artists formally known as toddlers were in their pre-teens and didn’t remember me.  Many semi-awkward hugs were distributed and name-avoiding strategies were employed. 

After church, we had even more family over for an even bigger dinner (my mother's mother made an excellent sweet potato pie), and there was the usual talk of the old country town that my grandmother’s side of the family is from.  It makes me kind of sad that I didn’t grow up with that sense of community or family (the WHOLE extended family grew up together until my grandmother and grandfather moved away in the 50s).  

Speaking of that old country town, we're having a family reunion there in July.  I really should take a boy, just to make people talk.

Sunday night, I went by an old trick's house and actually used a dildo on him, which was huge weird at first, but he was really into it.

By Monday, I was tired and grumpy.  Everything annoyed me, and I couldn’t stand to be around so many people.  Thankfully, my dad was driving me to the airport at 5am Tuesday.  Did I mention I haven’t had a round trip sans delays in longer than I can remember before this one?  Yeah.

And now, I will leave you with a photo essay of why South Carolina is so ridiculous.

No, I don't know when the Darlington 500 is.

Shucks!  You guys lost the War and the election!  What a great time to invent removable bumper stickers (since the election was almost two months before)!

Aw, buddy!  She said that before you bought it!

It's a virus that has spread absolutely everywhere.

And the most ridiculous part of my trip home:

Yes, my parents' house has wood panelling.  And yes, those are pictures of me (and my dad).  

I guess I was the only one to drink on that one, so here's a story.  My dad came up for parents' weekend at my small liberal arts school (thank god!), and he stayed with an older gay friend of mine in his water-front house.  The friend was a photographer, and he wanted to photograph us for a book he was putting together.  My dad bought some prints, got them framed, and gave them to my mother as a Valentine's Day present.  I came home two years ago to find that my mom had re-done the whole den around these pictures.  Did I mention they really hadn't updated much of the furniture since I was born, so it was kind of a necessary revamp?  Yeah.  

Last time I hung out with the Fam was Thanksgiving in Queens.  Check it out here.

And if you missed my posts on the Inauguration, check them out here and here.

Note: you may find the "Topics of Discussion" on the right and the  Cast of Characters to be of help in navigating this blog.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States…” Part 2 of 2

Click here for part 1 of this post.

Tuesday morning, SoHo Crush woke me up around 7:30 to catch the 8:30 hotel shuttle to the Metro.  Luckily, we had gotten day passes the night before on our way into the District, and it was a good 10 minute wait in line for the ticket machines (because no one could figure them out).  Before we left the hotel, we saw that CNN was showing a metro station across town that looked more like voting booths in November with the long lines, but when we arrived at our stop, we didn’t see much of a crowd.  Until we got on the train platform.

And this was the second-to-last stop on the line.

It was rumored that trains were running on a rush-hour schedule, and after about 5 or 10 minutes, a train came.  Too bad it was full.  When a train stopped the opposite direction, I joked with SoHo Crush that we should take it to the end of the line and catch a inbound train before it filled up.

There was a display that was supposed to show when the next train was coming, but it was blank.  Bad sign.  After about 15 minutes, another inbound train came.  Full.  At that point, most of the people around us were talking about catching a train to the end of the line, especially after a local told us that the trains bounce back when they get to the end of the line (i.e., one doesn't have to disembark at the end of the line as one has to do in NYC).  It was another good 15 or 20 minutes before an outbound train arrived, and SoHo and I managed to get a seat.

What should have taken less than a half hour took… well, it took forever with all the delays and people trying to squeeze on the full train.  Then the closest Metro stop was a good 10 minute walk to anywhere relevant.  SoHo Crush had bought tickets to the ceremony from some random guy online, and the entrance for our section was on the other side of the Mall.  SoHo started to lose hope, but we kept on trudging.  

As we approached the gate, we were surrounded by a bunch of teenagers all wearing the same jackets (a marching band maybe?).  They and everyone around us started stampeding the Mall.  We surmised that security had given up guarding that gate and just let everyone in at that point. 

I’m not sure what was going on in the ceremony as we approached the Mall because I was struggling with my iPhone to put up my out-of-office message up for work.  But by the time we got settled near the reflecting pool, they had gotten to my favorite party of the ceremony.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States…”

Everyone gets all excited for Obama and starts to cheer.

“...George Bush.”

Everyone boos.  Honestly, I found the booing in poor taste.  It made Democrats look classless, but I think the fact that it was such a let down kind of pushed people’s buttons.  It certainly made me chuckle. 

A few other choice moments during the ceremony:

• Rick Warren’s Invocation prayer quote: "when we fail to treat our fellow Human Beings and all the earth with the respect they deserve, forgive us." *cough* prop 8 *cough*

• The woman talking on her cell phone during the Invocation (it’s a prayer, lady)

• Aretha Franklin’s “God Save the Queen” “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”, when the background singers spaz out with “ring ring ring ring ring ring” (2:11 in the above video).  

• Obama messing up his oath (okay, okay, it wasn't really his fault)

• The guy that sounded like he was about to die on the microphone after Obama’s address

• The dumb adventurous white people who walked on the iced over reflecting pool

Did anybody else notice how they just conveniently dropped the 6/8 meter in favor of 4/4 in the above arrangement towards the end? (Then again, if it started in 6/8, it'd be going to 2/4... or if it started in 3/4 it'd be going to 4/4... gotta be consistent with those 8th note or quarter note beats!) Weird.

The whole ceremony had an electricity and energy that radiated through the crowd.  We were all freezing, but it didn’t matter because we had Hope to keep us warm (often in the form of crack-to-activate warming packs and blinged out Obama sweaters and hats, all sold by street vendors).  Smiles and well wishes all around. 

As we left the Capitol grounds, we literally spent about 3 hours trying to find somewhere to eat.  It involved taking a bus (they don’t accept the same cards as the Metro trains) and the Metro across town to Dupont Circle.  Washington was so not ready. 

A couple of fun things I saw as we walked though the city:

That'll come in handy in case the phrase 'Ivy League Crew' becomes hackneyed.  Or turns into a rap posse.

We barely had time to fit in a disco nap (and a quickie) before we had to get ready for the HRC Out for Equality event, which started at 7.  Supposedly, all the roads would be clear by 7, so we figured a cab would be no hassle.  However, it literally took us an hour and a half to get to the venue because our cabbie had to maneuver around half the District to get within 4 blocks of the place.  It was freezing outside, but we ditched and walked past the traffic. 

The dress for the event was “formal or festive” according to the website.  SoHo Crush was so worried that we’d be the only ones in jeans, and he was kind of right. 

It was all gay penguins. 

Well, not all.  And we loved this lesbian’s tie! 

She actually hosts Tuesday night Karaoke at Metropolitan, and she was super drunk nice.

It was a really nicely done event, and I’m not just talking about the open bar.  We loved the buffet (including sushi, oyster shooters [above], and these amazing duck crêpe things). 

Surprise, surprise: none of the gays wanted beer.  The bartender said it had all been sitting there since they unloaded it at 5:30.  SoHo Crush said they should donate it to the DC Eagle.

Cyndi Lauper performed, which was cool.

And so did Melissa Ethridge (with no band… an interesting choice).  Also cool.  Unfortunately, the combination of people crowding around the stage and my ability to aim with super zoom on (did I mention it was open bar?) impaired my aiming ability.  

But the highlight of my night happened when I looked over my shoulder and saw Douglas Spearman (the professor from Noah’s Arc)!  I charged over and barged in between his friends. 

“Hi, could I bug you to take a picture with me?”

“Of course!” he said, smiling and getting into position.  Oh my god, his arm is around my waist!  Through smiling teeth, “What’s you’re name?”

“D. Kareem.  What’s yours?”  Doh!  At the time I really didn’t know his name, but I should have faked like I did. 

“Doug.  Nice to meet you.”

“All my friends and I loved the movie.  We’re all planning to learn that vogue you guys did.”

Laughing, “Oh, god!  Please stop!”

“Thank you, Doug.”

“Have a good night.”

This picture really doesn’t do him justice, and neither does the screen.  I found him stunningly attractive in person. 

And I like this picture because it looks like he wants me.  Anyone notice how he and SoHo Crush are wearing similar jackets?

The party ended around midnight, so at 11:45, SoHo Crush and I got our coats and cabbed it over to the after party.  And by cabbed it over, I mean our cab driver decided that he would drop us off 3 blocks from Town before we realized where we were.  You really can't win with getting around in DC.

Cindy made an appearance.  I had Hpnotiq.  They didn’t play “Single Ladies”.  We went home.  Again, it took over an hour to get a cab (it didn’t help that we were wasted). 

On the way back to NYC on Wednesday, we stopped at a rest stop, and I decided I wanted to eat. 

I wasn’t embarrassed until I saw the line. 

Sorry, Mom; I am that kind of black.  Did I mention I had a Red Bull and showed up for a half day of work?  Yeah.

I was in Harlem when Barack was elected.  Check it out here.

Note: you may find the "Topics of Discussion" on the right and the  Cast of Characters to be of help in navigating this blog.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States…”

SoHo Crush had been debating whether or not to go to the Inauguration, and he finally made a decision the week before, asking me to accompany him.  Meanwhile, I had put in for Inauguration Day off back in November, the day after Barack got elected, so I was more than ready.  He actually found a hotel in Alexandria, VA about 8 miles out of DC and 2 miles from the Metro.  After a major delay (that involved me not waking up early enough), we were on the Jersey Turnpike headed South.

We arrived a little after 6 and immediately broke out our laptops (both macs!) to research for the plan that night.  After sending out a couple of texts to some local gays I know, we set out with about 6 addresses in SoHo Crush's iPhone.

We settled on dinner at Annie's Steakhouse in Dupont Cirle (DC's version of Chelsea), and it was basically a leather bar with food and tables.  Okay, okay, it was actually a nice restaurant, but the leather-daddy-to-not ratio was unexpectedly high.

About halfway through dinner, an older, rounder queen and twink were seated next to us.  "Check out this intern situation," jeered SoHo Crush.  And the Intern was very drunk (surprise, surprise).  It wasn't long before he turned to me and slurred, "I really love your hair."  Great.

The couple introduced themselves and revealed that they were actually a three-some.  "This is my gay dad.  He's very, very gay, and I'm very, very straight."  Keep telling yourself that, hun.  Turns out the guy whom we thought was the fat boss was actually Gay Dad's best friend.  

Gay Dad's best friend leans over: "Wanna hear a joke?" No.  He proceeds to recite no less than 5 dirty Disney-themed jokes.  Gay Dad, who has also had quite a few, has abandoned them for the table on the other side (can't blame her).  

Eventually, we escaped the twisted, overly-social family situation and made our way down the street to JR's.  And I thought the Ritz was crowded on the weekend.  Ha!  We squeezed in and get a pair of drinks. They were playing a great mix of pop music/videos until they played BonQuiQui. The whole thing. After that, things took a turn for the worse, so we ditched.

Did I mention it was the end of Mid-Atlantic Leather Weeknd as well?  Once we saw a poster, we figured that was the reason for all the guys in gear we saw at Annie's.  SoHo Crush thinks bears and leather daddies are the funniest thing to roam the earth, so he insisted that we cab it to DC Eagle.  He was only up for paying for the official closing party for the weekend if there would be live bear sex, which spawned a whole series of giggling and one-liners.

The Eagles across the nation definitely seem to be affiliated because this one pretty much looked like the one in NYC.  And what was the first piece of music I heard as we walked in?  Was it hardcore, dark gay (house) music with no words?  Or death metal?  Nope.  It was "Mm Bop" by Hanson.

"What the hell kind of bears are these?!" Indeed.

Then a few guys walked in with button-down shirts. Oh. Hell. No.  Meanwhile, I was wearing layered button downs and tight jeans, but I left my hoodie on in shame!  However, once I saw the two leather (grand)daddies wearing boots and leather thongs, all was right with the world.

(Note: at the Eagle in NYC, there is a dress code on certain nights that excludes sneakers, cologne, sandals, dress shoes, dress shirts, khakis, suits, and non-leather shorts.  Leather gear, rubber/latex, and jock straps are highly encouraged.)

There were two TVs on either side of the bar: one showing CNN, the other showing porn.

We decided to take a look upstairs where we watched more porn on the one 18" TV from 1997 before leaving for Dupont Circle again.

I've heard of being "fur friendly" but damn!  Loving the Egypt reference, though (Anubis much?).  This was a display in the upstairs bar.

At least he's got a huge cock.

And we spend the next half hour trying to catch a cab. You know how in NYC you can tell if a cab is available or not by the light on top? Not so much in DC.

We ended the night at Colbalt, which was a lot like G but with a 2nd story with a dancefloor. I got bumped into no less than 3 times there, and no one said "excuse me".    

Drunken munchies lead us to 7-11 where we picked up an arsenal of supplies that may or may not have included more than one donut. 

But it could have been worse.

They had Obama water.

We had so much stuff that one of the bags broke.  In the middle of the street.  Nice.

(Who leaves 7-11 with multiple bags?)

Monday was supposed to be tourist day.  SoHo Crush had determined that he was driving the rental car into the District.  Good luck.  He wanted to see a photo exhibit, but his mac died that morning.  I googled an Apple Store somewhere in DC.

In the middle of giving directions to what I thought was the exhibit, I realize that it's the Apple Store when we get into the District.  Oops.  Of course, we can't find parking.  And for some reason, there's no sign for the Apple Store outside the building.  I get out to ask a security guard in the desertted building lobby, and she informs me that the Apple Corporation is there.  Not. The. Store.

So I tried to Google Maps the gallery SoHo Crush wanted to go see, but when you have 300,000 iPhones concentrated in a so-so network (which I will not name because I don’t want to kill any possible corporate sponsorship deals), shit gets clogged up.  We literally spent the next hour or so driving around DC looking at all the full parking garages before SoHo got over it and took us back to Va. 

SoHo Crush and I have all sorts of weird references that make our time together SO much funnier.  I'll attempt to explain one, but this could get messy.  You may just want to skip to the next paragraph.  One of the awful things about living in SoHo is that half the people there are looking for the Apple Store, but none of these people speak English.  One Saturday, SoHo Crush was explaining this to me as we were walking through the neighborhood, and not even 5 minutes later, a guy with an accent approaches: "Excuse me.  Apple Store?"  SoHo Crush points and gives vague directions before quickly walking away to avoid further questioning.  So now, here we are in a foreign land with no directions and in need of Apple Assistance!  We couldn't stop laughing.

Luckily, there was an Apple Store in the Pentagon City Mall (a Simon mall, of course), which is located between DC and where we were staying in VA. 

The mall was festive, to say the least.

And everybody was looking to make a buck off the big event.

Even Red Bull got in on the action (wooorrrrrrk with those boots!).

We took the Metro back into DC after dinner and stayed out way too late, knowing we had a long day ahead of us. 

Stay tuned for Inauguration Day and the HRC Ball in the next post.  

I was in Harlem when Barack was elected.  Check it out here.

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