On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, a few of us were planning to meet up at Rush for a BoyParty.com party that advertised an open bar. When I got to the door with the boys, the promoter at the door said there was a $10 cover.
Me: “Um, isn’t it $5 for the first 50 people? Plus open bar?”
Promoter: *uncomfortably long pause* “Oh, right. I forgot about that.”
Me: “I was about to say… [Promoter] was about to get an angry text!”
Promoter: “Who’s that?”
Me: “[First and Last Name]. He’s a promoter for this party.”
Promoter: “Oh, right… yeah, well I’m a promoter, too.”
Me: “That’s real nice, hun. That’s real nice.”
Okay, that's not really how the conversation ended. But suffice to say it was awkward, and he came off as a bit clueless.
Bartender: “That’ll be a dollar.”
Me: “Wait, I thought it was open bar.”
Bartender: “Yeah, that’s our open bar. It’s kinda dumb, but that’s just how they do it.”
So let’s be real for a second. I’ve done dollar drinks before, and it was cute. You're gonna charge me a cover and lie to me, especially when I’m the one who convinced my boys to come through? That just makes me look bad. So now I know not to deal with Rush or BoiParty anymore. Nightlife is shady enough without its people outright lying to their customers.
Ironically, even the lies wouldn’t bring the boys out to “the biggest bar night of the year.” The rest of the boys were over it by 10:30, but Med School Mess and I toughed it out til 11ish before ditching for a new Joey Israel/Michael "Formika" Jones party: Suite 69 (at The Ritz). And what do you know: they had half-price drinks just like they had advertised! I love a reliable brand, and as far as my experience goes, that’s exactly what The Blackout Blog's Promoter of the Year Mr. Israel has built.
Another great thing about a Joey Israel party: his go-goes always have the nicest asses! I mean, the first guy we saw on the bar had on granny panties, but he filled them out so well that it wasn’t an issue!
I had gotten two invites for this party, one of those being the VIP invite. I wasn’t sure how the whole thing worked, but I was definitely curious. Formika informed me that it opened at midnight and that I should see him for a bracelet. It seemed rather arbitrary how they were doing the VIP access. But everyone I was with got a bracelet, so we headed upstairs. For those of you who don't know, The Ritz has opened up a 3rd floor. We walked through a door in the 2nd floor's street entrance and up what looked like the stairwell in an apartment building. We came do an apartment door that said 69 on it (clever). Behind the door was a small, chic lounge divided into two main areas lined with plush furnishings.
When I arrived upstairs, the first thing I saw was the 6’6” oh-so-dark-and chiseled hunk of man named Corey Corey. I’d first met Corey Corey at Duplex’s Halloween party in ’08 when he was obsessed with my fake butt. I met him again at Baña, but I’d failed to make the connection until I started following him on Twitter (talk about NSFW).
Corey Corey wearing a chicken mask over his face, white feather boa around his waist, and some bright orange rubber chicken feet. Notice how I didn’t mention underwear. That’s because the only thing between the feather boa and the chicken feet was the largest, darkest schlong I’ve ever seen (and I’ve dated an African… don’t worry: it was years ago, and I’ve since healed). I’m bad at guessing inches, but this is how I later described it to a friend (with the help of Med School Mess): “The head was about the size of a plumb.”
Just as advertised, there were fully naked bartenders and other go-goes in the VIP area. Personally, I prefer the No-Parking cock-sock, but it’s nice to have something different every once in a while (especially since that hot porn actor from Baña started wearing underwear while he bartended). But outside that, nothing especially wild happened. A good time was had by all.
Did I mention I had two Thanksgiving dinners to go to with my family the next day? Yeah.
Click here to check out Corey Corey's Facebook profile.
Photos borrowed from Fanpop.com, Missivesfrommarx.wordpress.com, and PBK's Facebook profile.
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2 comments:
yeah i had to get up for a 7:30 bus to philly the next day. needless to say I missed that bus. (and that was during my sober stint)
Corey Corey sounds like winner!
~A
PS: I am not really that BIG of a size queen.
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