You’ve picked your site. You’ve written your profile. You’ve posted your pics. Now it’s time to get you some man-cock! Communication on these sites and apps can be a complex and frustrating process. Or it can be as simple as a guy telling you that you’re hot and sending his phone number (or address, telling you his door will be unlocked and he’ll be face down on the bed).
A few things to keep in mind while interacting with guys online.
Many (if not most) messages will go unanswered. I’ve never agreed with this, but it’s commonly accepted that no response is a proper way to tell a guy you’re not interested. But just because “everybody’s doing it” doesn’t mean you have to.
Guys aren’t always in front of the computer. Just because a guy responds to you 5 minutes after you message him doesn’t mean he’ll be eagerly awaiting your next response. He may be doing other things (or even talking to other guys) and may not respond for an hour. Or a day.
Guys lie, they flake, and they’re inconsiderate. If you assume this, you’ll be pleasantly surprised when they act like decent human beings (which many will), and you’ll be less surprised when they’re dicks.
Protect yourself. It’s not likely that the guy you invite over after a few drunk messages will rob or attack you, but it has happened. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t go through with it.
If you decide to meet up, get his number. Even if you plan on never seeing him again, you never know when you’ll/he’ll get lost or delayed in transit.
A common phenomenon in the world of online “social networking” is the one-word email, Sup” being the most prevalent. It’s the least amount of investment, so if it gets ignored, it’s not a big deal. Plus, it’s a great way to show that you’re not really looking for conversation. I’ve found that “Sup” is most often followed up rather quickly by a sexual advance. If that’s what you’re going for, then “Sup” it up! However, if you’re looking for more of a conversation or connection, you may have to put a bit more effort into your greeting.
I’ve always said that if a guy is into you, he’ll respond, and it doesn’t really matter how you open a conversation (within reason). But keep in mind that guys can be won over, even if it’s not lust at first sight. If you want some conversation, give him something to work with. Different things get different guys going, but if there’s one safe bet for most guys it’s this: they love talking about themselves. Make a comment on a picture (less, “You’re hot!”… more, “Cute dog! How long have you had him?”). Hopefully, they’re interesting enough to put something besides a list of dislikes in their profile, though those guys could probably be drawn in by, “OMG, I’m so not into Asians or femmes either!”
And know how to take a hint. Are you the one doing all the asking? Is he asking anything about you or doing anything else to encourage you to talk (well, type)? No? Well, he's probably not into you and doesn't know how to come out and say it.
The important thing is to try a few greetings and see what works best for you. And remember those private pics? An appropriate greeting with an unlocked pic can be more effective than either by itself. Even if the picture isn't explicit, sometimes it's about the gesture of unlocking.
As you’re communicating, remember that you’re dealing with a person on the other end. A lack of face-to-face communication doesn’t justify being an ass. And you know that red dotted line that shows up under the words you type? Pay attention to those. That means you misspelled something (and if I notice a misspelling, you know it's bad!). All it takes is a right click to get the correct spelling. This could help, too.
This is Part 4 of a multi-part how-to series.
Click here for Part 1.
Click here for Part 2.
Click here for Part 3.
Click here for Part 5.
Photos borrowed from mycenae's photobucket and gamertagpics.com
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1 comments:
I find the standard reply most sites offer a polite, quick and easy way to tell guys "thanks but no thanks"
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