"Fuck it! I'm on vacation!" (Melbourne Day 4, Part 2)

The guy on the other side of Boobie Bird’s phone conversation came over (you know, the one she’d have to fuck to get the drugs), and he was young. Cute. Kind of a used-to-play-football build. Could definitely stand to get back in the gym (and undoubtably fatter than the last time they'd, er, gotten together a year ago), but still cute. And I’m sure the alleged cock size helped. I left them in the kitchen, excusing myself to the patio along with everyone else. A few minutes later, I passed through the kitchen on the way to the bathroom and heard, “Naaaaaeeeeeeeuuuu (Australian for ‘no’), you’re too big!” Not sure what part of him she was talking about, but I had to run to the bathroom to keep from guffawing in front of them.

It wasn’t long before they disappeared to her room. And not very long after that before she came out to the patio with her hair tied up into a quite sloppy ponytail.

It was a bright afternoon when the guy arrived and said his dealer would be there in about an hour. It was pitch black out by the time this guy actually arrived. Just like that, they had their product, and the guy was gone.

Oz Paws: “Do you want a line?”

Me: “No, thanks!”

Me (2 minutes later): “You know what. I’m on vacation! Let me get a tiny bump.”

Oz Paws collected a small mound of powder on the corner of a credit card and handed it to me. I turned my head to exhale (and not blow the bump into the air), and with a quick sniff, it cleared my nostrils. It didn’t sting or make me want to sneeze as I'd always imagined it would. It was actually kind of a fun rush/altered state. I felt a bit silly and loud, but I felt more energetic and empowered. I understood how people did such silly things on this stuff.

Oz Paws (holding the studded leather Absolut bottle cover): "You still have to put on your costume!"

Me: "Huh? You funny."

Paws: "Come on! You said you would do it!

Me: "Dude, that was a joke. I'm not doing that shit!"
Paws: "Fine, I'll do it first and then you do it. We have two of them!"

This fool came out of the bathroom in nothing but a leather studded bottle cover.

Boobie Bird: "Oh my god! Wait, I have a fur! And some sunnies! This is gonna be perfect!"
Paws: "Come on, mate. I did it, so now you have to. And you'll look so much hotter."
Me (pausing): "Fuck it! I'm on vacation!"

We went into the bathroom (as I'm typing this, I'm stopping and shaking my head in disbelief), I stripped down, and we put on (are you serious) the furs and sun glasses. And we walked out (lawd help) holding the studded leather bottle covers to our crotches.

You didn't think I was gonna post the full picture, did you? Ha!

But add me on Facebook, and you can see the whole photo ;-)

Everyone was squealing with laughter and (iCant) snapping photos. I had a good laugh for about 5 minutes before backing out of the kitchen into the bathroom to put on some undies.

Boobie Bird: "D. Kareem... seriously... no seriously, I need you to put some pants on. You're really turning me on right now, and it's not okay... seriously."

I guess that wasn't the best time to run over and hump her leg, huh.

I put on some pants and had another drink before we jumped in cabs to Love Machine. I had a long conversation with the coat-check girl (not long, but long for a coat-check interaction) about my bag… my travels… my life. When I finally wandered into the venue, it was pretty crowded. Searching for the others, I ran into a bunch of drag queens, the most familiar of which (I'd seen her perform a previous night) pulled me in for a hug.

Drag Queen: “Come here! How are you! You know I worry about you.”

Me: “You worry about me?”

Drad Queen: “Yes, dear! So take care of yourself!”

Me: “I’ll be sure to.”

I noticed that there was a remarkable number of women at this party. Women dancing with men. Men who seemed less interested in the design of their dresses than how to find the zipper. That’s when I realized that this was a truly mixed party.

I stayed for a while, but around 12:30, I decided that it was time for a more M4M scene. On the way out, I stopped into the bathroom. A really tall, hot guy started talking to me. I thought he was into me until he pulled out his phone to show me how cute his “gay brother” was.

Then he said this: “I have a lil gram on me. I’d never sell it, but if you want a little bit...”

. o O (He’s obviously not trying to get me home, and if anything is in this stuff, it’ll at least take til I get outside the club and down the street to take effect. Fuck it: I’ll risk a tiny bump.)

We "gave dap" on my way into the stall (Aussies call it a cubicle) and on my way out. He wished me a good night, and I was off. Unfortunately, all the gay bars I went to on Commercial St. were absolutely dead. Xchange wasn’t even open! I admitted defeat and went home, hoping to get a full night’s sleep in before the banging started.

Did I mention I only had one more day left in Oz? Yeah.

Click here to check out the beginning of Day 4 in Melbourne, Australia.

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