when he pulled in a 4th guy (Sydney, Australia, Day 2)

I had gotten to sleep around 5, and I woke up around 7. And again at 8. I took a couple of sleeping pills (and a screwdriver) and slept from 9 til 11. Fucking jet lag.

I headed to Battuta to check my Grindr messages get breakfast. As soon as I sat down, a slim white guy (early 30s?) came from the exposed kitchen and sat beside me.

Him:"Do you know that the staff has been talking about you? [pointing to the server] She was saying not 10 minutes ago that she could see your abs through your shirt yesterday!"

Me: "Wow! I had no idea I was being watched."

Him: "Here's Steve's number. He asked me to give it to you because he chickened out at the register yesterday. He had practiced his lines and everything and just blanked out when you walked up!"

Throughout my meal, this male server would come over and talk to me. At one point, I let it slip that I was staying at the Travelodge. Soon, I realized he looked very familiar.

Him: "Okay, this might be a bit embarrassing, but did we have sex before?"

Me: "Yeah, I think we have messed around before. When I was here in '03."

Him (walking back to the kitchen and talking across the dining area): "I knew I remembered your face. Just wish I could remember the rest!"

I entered the number from the piece of paper into my phone.

Well, I had planned a day at the beach before the Drag Races at Bondi, but it was raining. And cold. So I went shopping instead.

While Australia isn't exactly Milan, clothes there aren't particularly cheap. I went through shop after shop asking AUD $35 for a tank top, $38 for a pair of briefs, and $60 for tshirts. And I went to A LOT of shops. While there weren't too many big name designer storefronts (Puma, Lonsdale, and Ed Hardy are the ones that come to mind) there are a number of shops that carry familiar designers as well as Aussie designers and their own brands. Most of the stuff didn't match my taste (just like the US), but I did see a vintage (looking?) orange western-style button-down... For AUD $70. Did I mention the exchange rate is like AUD $.92 to $1?

Like any good journalist, I never reveal my sources, but I did find a shop that had quite affordable clothing that I actually liked. I saw the perfect pair of bright green short shorts with a thick white plaid, but they were way too tight. I was in the mirror trying to justify them, and the shop keeper gave me no less than 4 reasons why I needed to put them back on the shelf (but still managed to comment on my "cute ass").

I settled on a sleeveless button-down with orange detailing around the buttons and a bit of metallic threading and a more subdued solid green short that actually fit my ass but was tight in the thigh opening. This totaled well under AUD $100.

After heading to Battuta (and having the guy with a crush serve me... while I was checking Grindr... And Manhunt) I headed home for a disco nap. I was headed to Arq for their Studs in Suds foam party, but I had planned to meet up with a guy from Manhunt first. For a drink, perv! I'd given him my number, but Manhunt was acting upon my phone, so I had no idea what he looked like. But I figured if I had given him my number, he had to be hot.

I had my hair down that day, but there was no way I was going to a foam party without tying it up. Unfortunately, my hair elastic was nowhere to be found. The big pharmacy was closed (I love you, Duane Reade!), so I was stuck with convenience stores and supermarkets. And NONE of them had black hair elastics. But you know what they ALL had: big red ones. And not the ouchless kind either. This is what I was forced to wear for the rest of my time in Sydney.

The guy from Manhunt said he would meet me at Stonewall Hotel. Luckily, he saw me and made the oh-there-you-are face. He was attractive, but I smelled cigarette smoke from a foot away. He was nice enough. Fun, even. But to quote myself, "He didn't drive me wild with desire."

Around 12:30, I bowed out and headed to Arq. I'd bought a pair of $3 flip-flops for the party, but when security checked my bag, they made me toss my flip flops in a bin because they weren't allowed at the party.

I. Was. Wearing. Timbs.

I stripped down to my speedo with the Timbs, checked my bag, and walked into the party. I saw a handsome, built, Latin-looking guy, and as I was checking him out, his skinny Aussie boyfriend came over and almost literally threw himself on me. I wasn't really that into him, but it was the first action I'd gotten since I landed. We made out a bit, but I had to stop him when he bent down to pull down my speedo with his teeth. Then he pulled over a really hot, young Asian guy. The three of us were grinding and making out for a few, but I was really kinda over it. The Aussie was really aggressive and would have pulled me back in if I tried to get away, but I saw my opportunity when he pulled in a 4th guy.

I soon ran into the cute DC Redhead and his crew on the foamy dance floor. We had a great time dancing, lip-synching, and avoiding the bursts of foam from the apparatus on the ceiling. I was really attracted to the redhead, but I had almost no indication as to his attraction to me. I didn't really want to push it since I liked hanging out with him.

I headed to the bar for a(nother) drink and asked for a screwdriver. The bartender shook his head and pointed to this sign.

Then for the next person, he put their glass up to the liquor dispenser and added mixer. I thought about this for about 5 seconds before I figured it out.

"Let me get a vodka and orange."

"That'll be seven dollars fifty."

Note to self: cocktail = martini.

On the way back to the bar, the faux-Latin and the skinny Aussie sandwiched me Night-at-the-Roxbury style. I escaped, but not before I took the chance to make out with the faux-Latin.

When I got back to DCR and his crew, I saw bare ass in the foam! Of course, I maneuvered to get a better view. What did I find: dick. Two guys had their shorts around their ankles, and they were alternating between jerking each other and... I shudder just typing it... sucking each other! In the foam. That can't taste good. And there might have been frottage at one point, but if you're sucking a guy off in the middle of a dance floor, you get no benefit-of-the-doubt from me. I'm gonna assume I witnessed unprotected sex.

We watched that for a while before we moved to the other side of the dance floor where we saw a 7-person circle jerk going on.

There were at least 3 more incidents of the faux-Latin and his boyfriend trapping me in their sandwich, but I still couldn't get a read on DCR’s attraction to me. At all. But at one point, I noticed his friends were gone. The party was starting to wind down, and he asked if he could crash with me. I agreed, but I try not to assume (especially with guys my age). I asked him what he wanted. His answer, “A bed and some good company.”

Did I mention the sex was a bonus (and that I didn't so much mind the irony of flying 10,000 miles to hook up with an American)? Yeah.

Click here to check out Day 1 in Sydney.