Best underwear gets the “best” underwear. (Paradise Lost at Boots 'N Saddle)

Memorial Day Weekend was quite the mixed bag for me and involved way too much of my underwear on display.

image from Zazzle.com

I went to the Paradise Lost party at Boots ‘N Saddle. They were advertising an underwear giveaway, and I love free underwear! I figured there was a chance that showing underwear may have been involved, so I put on a pair of cute trunks that I'd paid too much for purchased in Australia.

I went to check in on 4square, and I got a notification that there was a special: a free drink upon check in! I was too excited, and I showed it to the older of the two bartenders. He squinted at my screen and shook his head, handing me back my phone: “I don’t know who put that on there, but we’re not doing that.” Excuse me? So I reluctantly bought a drink. Not long after that, I bumped into the promoter and asked him about it. He had no idea why the bartender wasn’t cooperating, and he told me to find him for my next drink, which would be on the house.

image from buzznet.com

Eventually, the promoter announced the sign-up for the underwear giveaway. There were about 15 people signed up, but only 5 people actually came to the stage. Basically, the contest was each person showing their underwear. Best underwear gets the “best” underwear (which was arbitrary because they were all boxed up without so much as a preview window). It was kind of pointless because we were competing for 5 pairs of underwear. But the promoter made it a bit more suspenseful by asking the go-goes to judge who was in the top 3 for applause. Ironically enough, the judges picked the three black guys: Timon (who had been performing on a cruise ship for a year), a random, and me.

The pair of the "best" underwear that I got was camoflauge Paul Frank briefs with a grey waistband. The killer: they were a size small.

I texted Urban Sprawl, who was at Gym Bar with Bottomless Pitt, Fruit Bat, and a friend of hers. As I made my way there, Urban Sprawl let me know that they were on their last round of drinks there and wanted to go elsewhere after. When I arrived, Fruit Bat and her friend went to the bar for another round. I gave the underwear to Urban Sprawl since she’s much shorter than I with a smaller waist. When Fruit Bat and her friend returned, we started chatting, and I noticed Urban Sprawl and Bottomless Pitt making their way towards the front of the bar. I figured it was for another drink.

image from Urban Sprawl's
Facebook profile

After about 10 minutes, I realized that neither Sprawl nor Pitt had come back. I walked through the bar twice before I texted them: Did. You. Just. Leave.

Urban Sprawl was first to respond: I was the one that said ‘She’s a big girl.’ Sowwy.

Bottomless Pitt followed soon thereafter: Urban Sprawl said you were staying there. Come to Boxers.

Well, after being left without so much as eye contact or a we’re-leaving text, I was in no mood to walk to 5^th ave at 1:30am.

Bottomless Pitt’s next text: Last time I listen to her. She’s drunk and wearing the underwear on her head.

Did I mention this blog is about actual things that happen in my life (sometimes I need that reminder, too)? Yeah.

Click here to check out this mess of a Summer Saturday in '09 (with video).

Click here to check out the latest Fun with Grindr post (FoSkin 4 lYfe!).

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