So is Pitt a top? (A new bar opens, and I get in a fight with Duplex)

Boxers Sports Bar had their grand opening on a Thursday with an open bar! I showed up to meet a few of the Ivy League Crew et al., but it seemed like half of Chelsea had the same idea. After Urban Sprawl, Med School Mess and I shoved our way to the bar for a couple of drinks, we were accosted by a cute, short guy.

image from blackosity.com

He was with Complete Body and Spa, which bought the old 19th St Gym, which, from what I gather, used to be an old-school, no-frills, bodybuilder gym. He gave us a wonderfully efficient schpiel and handed us 3-day passes.

Him: "I hope you guys come and check it out."

Me (with a sly smile): "Well, will you be there?"

He paused for a full second before reaching in his bag and pulling out VIP 2-week passes for the 3 of us.

I was hung over on Friday, but I had no plans after work. It seemed like the perfect time to go down to Chelsea to have a look at this gym. I had both the 3-day and the 2-week pass, so I gave Bottomless Pitt a holler.

We walked into the gym and the first thing I see is Colton Ford training a guy on the floor.

image from last.fm

*DEAD*

You know how want to watch someone, but you don't want to LOOK like you're watching someone, so you go way out of your way to look like you're not watching them, which only attracts attention to the fact that you're avoiding watching them? That about sums up my workout.

image from gothamrfc.org

After, we went back to Boxers, which was surprisingly busy for such a new place, before I conviced Bottomless Pitt to come to Posh. Mainly because I'd left my credit card behind the bar the night before. But when we walked in, I ran into 3 good friends of SoHo Crush, my ex from last summer. I was relieved to find that SoHo himself was not in the bar.

They were at a table in the corner, to which they returned after we exchanged double kisses. One of the guys looked like he was trying to come over to tell me something, but his boyfriend was literally holding him back. The couple left soon thereafter.

A shorter white guy was with the group. He didn't come over with the rest, but he called me over right as Bottomless Pitt went to the other side of the bar to order a drink. We exchanged intros and talked for a bit before he told me that he thought Bottomless Pitt was sexy. He seemed more or less like Bottomless Pitt's type (minus the euro accent), so I told him he should buy Pitt a drink. After about 5 minutes, Pitt still hadn't been served, so I went over and got him, introducing him to the shorter white guy.

SoHo Crush's remaining friend, who somehow started talking to Bottomless Pitt, is a cute, slim white guy of average height, and probably in his late 20s, btw.

image from zazzle.com

Short guy: "Wow, looks like [SoHo's friend] moved in on Bottomless Pitt."

Me: "Are you sure? Is Bottomless Pitt even his type?"

Short: "Oh he could definitely be [friend's] type! So is Pitt a top? Bottom? He's versatile, isn't he!"

Me: "Well, I think one of you should try to find out for yourselves."

Short: "I'm leaning towards maybe not. I shouldn't even be saying this, but [friend] is really hung! I mean, all the fat and muscle in his body must be concentrated in his cock!"

I noted this gem of info and put it in my back pocket.

Eventually, dude wandered off. It wasn't long before Bottomless Pitt and SoHo Crush's friend started making out. As entertaining as this disaster was, I had to leave to meet Duplex, who was in a cab to pick me up on the way to No Parking.

At No Parking, we ran into a (hot) friend of Duplex's as well as a former hookup of mine whose (extremely handsome) face I couldn't quite place until he gave me a hug and I could smell him. He was hanging out with an older white man.

20 minutes later, Duplex turned to me: "Who's this old white guy shaking my hand?"

Me: "You mean the one that's 3 years older than you? He just bought us shots, asshole!"

image from shallownation.com

After a few drinks, Duplex and I went to Mambi for rice and beans. Out of nowhere, he asks, "Where is this going?" This was the introduction to the exact same argument we had when we broke up 3 years ago. And we've had it at least once since then.

Him: "Fuck you! I should just leave right now and leave my share of the bill... I don't have any change."

Me: "I can take care of the $13 bill if you need to go."

Him: "Shit, my stuff is at your place anyway."

Me: "Well, it seems you see things one way, and I just see them differently."

Him: "Please! You're smarter than that. I was a [rattles off titles from his and his mother's resume]; I can smell bullshit a mile away!"

Me: "Well, since there's only one way of seeing this, yours, then I apologize for being objectively wrong."

Did I mention he stayed over that night and that it was all good a half hour later? And the next morning? Yeah.

It's my birthday weekend! Click here to check out last year's Beyoncé-themed B'Day.

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