a guy he met at the liquor store (The Ivy League Crew et al Invades DC)

Photo taken from TTT's Twitter profile

A friend of ours offered to get a bunch of rooms in DC on a Saturday. She had some kind of hook up with Priceline or the Mob or something... All I know is that the cost was taken care of, and I wasn't missing out for anything!

A few of us took the Bolt Bus down and hopped on the Metro over to Dupont Circle. I had only been to the gym once that week, so I was determined to get a workout in. Bottomless Pitt, Urban Sprawl, TTT and I made our way down to the exercise room not quite sure what to expect.

We walked into a box that wasn't even the size of a hotel room. There were a few bike machines, a few treadmills, and a strange set of weight-adjustable dumbbells. Once we figured out how the hell to use the dumbbells, Bottomless Pitt and I alternated lifting while Urban Sprawl ran and practiced the "Telephone" dance in the mirror between sets of push-ups (you think I'm joking?). TTT kind of stood around, posted pictures on Twitter, and wandered off to see if she could find the steam room (girl, this ain't Shequinox!).

We were starving after our workout, but we had to shower and change for a pre-party on Like Mike's rooftop. Like Mike is a friend of a friend whom I basically met because he would constantly Like my friends' statuses on Facebook. He works for the federal government (surprise, it's DC), he's around my age, and he probably used to be a twink with a brain.

image from TTT's Twitter profile

The 15 of us from NYC made our way over to Like Mike's, and after our first drink, Bottomless Pitt, TTT and I ran out in search of food. Bottomless Pitt and I were craving protein from our workout. TTT was just being a fat ass. We ended up walking through DC's main gay strip, and it felt like everyone sitting outside at the various restaurants was gawking at us as we walked by. I wasn't sure if I looked good or if I'd spilled something on my sleeveless shirt.

After we picked up food, we ducked into Rosebud Liquors (tee hee hee) to get another bottle for the party. A tall white guy was waiting and almost immediately called me out.

Guy: "Hey, I've seen you before."

Me: "You kinda look familiar."

Guy: "Did I meet you at Pride a couple of weeks ago?"

Me: "Er, I wasn't here for Pride."

Guy: "Oh... Well turn around. I'll definitely recognize you then."

We all laughed as I gathered money for the bottle we were splitting. TTT and the guy continued to talk as I paid, and TTT got his number.

Did anyone catch that... TTT got a number from a guy he met at the liquor store. Just making sure we're all on the same page here.

We got back just in time to catch the last bottle of vodka, and our Captain Morgan didn't last too long either. I was trying to mobilize to JR's around the corner before we left for Town, but everyone was pretty settled. Then TTT told me he'd just invited Liquor Store Dude over.

I ended up talking to Liquor Store Dude for a little while when he arrived. He said something about being a photographer and working in politics (let's go with DC paparazzi). It was getting dangerously late for non-New York clubbing (and Like Mike was only allowed to use the roof til 11), so I re-rallied the troops to wrap things up.

Liquor: "So, is there a bathroom?"

Me: "Yeah, Like Mike lives in [unit number]. There should be someone down there to open the door."

Liquor: "Why don't you come walk me down?"

Me (not catching on at first): "Dude, it's like 3 floors down."

Him (grabbing my arm): "Come on."

As soon as we got to the 6th floor in the stairwell, my back was against the wall, and his tongue was counting my molars.

. o O (This is nice... I wonder if he's fetishizing me... I hope nobody comes down the stairs... Are they getting cabs yet... I bet he's hairy... I wonder where he lives... These bitches better not leave me... He's a good kisser... How am I gonna button these tight-ass shorts back with this boner... Crap, he unbuttoned my shorts!)

I pulled away and situated myself, which was kind of useless because there was no extra fabric to hide... well, anything. I casually walked out into the hallway with both hands not-at-all suspiciously shoved into my pockets, and who should happen to be waiting for the elevator: Bottomless Pitt. I cracked up as the blood began to rush back to my head.

Liquor Store Dude was about as interested in going to Town as I would be in going to Splash on a Saturday night. We said exchanged cards, and I jumped in a cab with 3 other boys.

Cashier: "$12 please."

Me: "Hold up. Isn't it free if you're in your underwear?"

Cashier: "Yes it is."

Me: "I'll be right back."

I may or may not have changed into a speedo in the lobby of Town.

When we walked in, everyone was a) watching a drag show and b) wearing clothes. I needed a drink. Fast.

All of us kind of spread out after we got in the club. I found Urban Sprawl and Bottomless Pitt upstairs. They had discovered that drinks were only $5 (I imagine them acting like the Nintendo 64 kid), so they'd been throwing them back since they walked in.

Urban Sprawl (gesticulating wildly): "That asshole just tried to make me apologize for him spilling his drink on me! Oo, I will cut her!"

Me: "Oh god. Here we go..."

Urban Sprawl: "Where'd they go! I'm gonna—"

Me: "Sprawl, don't let them ruin your good time. It's their city: you'll get kicked out before they do. Let's find the others downstairs."

It didn't take us long to find the rest of the boys. Well, except for TTT, who left because he didn't get a make-out offer within the first 10 minutes. We may or may not have done the dance to "Telephone" in the club. On stage. In speedos.

Our group was cutting up en masse on the downstairs dance floor when a security person tapped me on the shoulder.

Him: "Your friend asked me to find you. He's at the door. We had to escort him out."

Me: "What the hell?"

Did I mention you're gonna have to wait til the next post to find out what went down (including some HOtEl room drama)? Yeah.

Click here to check out my trip to DC for Barak Obama's Inauguration.

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