“the biggest cock I’ve ever seen!” (Sandblast '10 at Asbury Park)

Sandblast was quite the entertaining excursion. Not that we paid the $60 to get in... you can hear the music just fine on the other side of the beach!

Of course, I got out of the train at Penn Station with no more than 9 minutes to buy a ticket and run to the commuter train. Turns out the NJ Transit got new ticket machines! New ticket machines that don’t have a round-trip option. Luckily, it was more or less like buying an LIRR ticket, but I almost had a heart attack when I saw it was $15. For one way!!

I almost pushed a guy down the stairs with less than a minute left to go, but the train ended up leaving a few minutes late anyway. Thanks to some quick texting, I found Bottomless Pitt, Urban Sprawl and AdamFaceHunt and squeezed into a seat with all 3 of them for the first half hour of the ride.

We were able to move to 2 seats facing each other, but 1 stop later, a family with 3 young children sat down across the aisle. And then there was the baby on the other side of the car that wouldn't stop crying. Good thing we hadn't started drinking yet.

Cute Williamsburg-looking Latin guy: "Hey, are you guys going to, uh..."

Me: "Asbury Park? The gay beach?! What are you trying to say, bro!” We both started laughing. “Have you seen out outfits?! Where else could we be heading!"

2 hours, 2 trains, and 2/3rds of Bottomless Pitt's Gatorade bottle later, we passed the bail bonds shops on our way to the beach.

Everyone was packed onto the sand with their towels, umbrellas, and tents. And the muscle daddies were out in full force! We joined AdamFaceHunt’s friends from Philly who had already gotten a spot right next to the fence that separated the party from the public part of the beach.

Once we were set up, I got to my usual people-watching. The number of hot bodies on the beach was amazing. From the front and the back! In every shape and shade. Luckily, I had gotten a very cute and very revealing new speedo that week in the mail.

AdamFaceHunt: "D. Kareem prefers to save the imagination part for the bedroom!"

I had soaked some pineapples and oranges in vodka for the trip. They turned out really strong, and our group ended up eating/drinking most of it. Then AdamFaceHunt's friend bit a hole in the bottom of the bag. Yes we did pass around the Ziplock and suck out the "juice" like a group of homeless men trying to finish off a box of wine.

image from AdamFaceHunt's
Facebook profile

The Sandblast party itself seemed to start out rather slow. We arrived at the beach around noon when they were playing pop music (about an hour after the listed start time), and no one was on the dance floor! We were perplexed, but we had our own dance party walking down the boardwalk. As the party went on, it got more house oriented. The dance floor got more crowded closer to the end of the party because the ecstasy started to kick in the circuit queens live for their house music (and this is why I don't enjoy circuit parties as much as one would expect). It was damn near full by the time we packed up to go to Paradise in the Empress Hotel.

I was thrilled to find that it was still happy hour, so a vodka-Red Bull was only $5! And they poured it from the gun like a soda!

I saw the DJ booth on 4square and just had to check in (yeah, I was drunk), so I pranced up the stairs to the platform overlooking the pool. The DJ said hi, and as I turned in slow motion (wind gently blowing through my hair), my gaze was instantly drawn to his nice package piercing blue eyes and a warm, welcoming smile. He introduced himself as James Anthony. I stayed and made a bit of flirty conversation before adding him on Facebook on my phone. On my way back to the pool deck, I started talking to a few people near the DJ booth. Within 2 minutes, the shouted over, "I'm reading your blog now. It's hilarious!" Flattery will get you everywhere. If his podcast is anything like his mix that day, I'll be a regular subscriber.

I joined the others downstairs just before Urban Sprawl and Bottomless Pitt pussed out peaced out for Manhattan. I figured I wasn't missing anything in the City that wouldn't be there next week, so I stayed around to cause more trouble.

I joined AdamFaceHunt and his friends for dinner in the restaurant attached to the hotel, and after, we returned to Paradise's pool deck. I'd been having a nice conversation with one of the other boys (possibly picking up an I'm-feeling-you vibe), but about 30 seconds after I re-entered the pool area, an older gentleman was on me like a shark on an Aussie surfer.

I talked to the guy because his approach was respectful and he was pretty handsome. I was sure he wanted to get my pants off (well, the were already off, but that's not the point), but he didn't make it painfully blatant. In fact, he ended up buying me a drink and making enjoyable conversation. I was about halfway through the drink when he mentioned he wanted to suck me off in the weight room of the condo he and his partner shared down the street. I politely declined, and we talked for a bit more before he confirmed my decision and blended back into the crowd.

AdamFaceHunt: "There you are! [My friend] said you might need to be rescued. I told him, 'D. Kareem never needs to be rescued!'"

Me: "Aw, you know me so well!"

Hunt: "How much are the drinks now?"

Me (trying not to sound condescending): "Um... I know Kettle is $8.50. I don't know about anything else."

I had one more (well) drink before we left for the new club, Swell. I asked some locals about it, but they weren't sure since it was new. But when we walked over, we found it was reasonably populated, cover-free, and stocked with plenty of go-goes. Even Morehead (whom we didn’t see until he found us in the club with the requisite older man in tow) said one of them had “the biggest cock I’ve ever seen!” That’s a lot coming from her! The $5 drinks didn't hurt, either.

AdamFaceHunt and his boy were nice enough to give me a ride home in the boy’s car, which was heaps faster than the 2 hour train ride. I definitely wasn’t ready to leave when we peaced out around midnight, so next year a room will be seriously considered.

I knew it would still be kinda early when we got back to the City, so I was planning to meet Totally Tyler for a drink for his birthday. As such, I cracked open some alcohol-soaked fruit that didn’t get eaten on the beach. Out of nowhere, the bag slipped off my lap and the juice spilled on AdamFaceHunt’s boy's back seat… and all over my shorts!

Did I mention they were dropping me off at Port Authority (the biggest bus terminal in NYC, one block from Times Square)? Did I mention that I went out anyway? Yeah.

Click here to check out Sandblast '09 (did Med School Mess just text me from the back of a cop car?!).

Props to Beyoncé and Lady Gaga for their VMA nod for Video Phone. Click here to check out my review.

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