I've long been saying that Friday nights in NYC are lame. And I fully take that back.
I decided on a whim to check out FV's party Rockit at their new venue Quo. This is one of those straight bars in West Chelsea that would normally require guys to get bottle service unless they have 12 women with them. The space was one floor (as far as I could tell) with a few levels: an elevated VIP/lounge area; a small dance floor, and a large recessed main dance floor with elevated booths in the back. Big as far as NYC standards go.
The party opens at 10 with open bar and $5 admission til 11. Admission is $10 after. Nightlife legend Lady Bunny DJs in the smaller room while DJ Keo Nozari spins on the main dance floor.
I arrived around 10:35. There was no line out front, and minimal wait to get drinks. Lady Bunny seemed to be doing a pop set with some R&B seasoning, and the main dance floor was closed.
|photo from fveventsny.com|
On my way in, a very familiar guy was outside smoking. A cute, late-20s, in-shape enough white guy. He went crazy over my cut-off polo: "Oh my god! I was gonna do the same thing to my white polo tonight! You know, 'cause it gets so hot, and I always get pit stains. But you should cut it straight so you don't get the points on your shoulders."
Me (with as gracious a smile as I could muster): "I actually like the triangles. Hey, I gotta catch the open bar, but I'm sure I'll see you inside."
I got a drink and accidentally tipped the bartender $6 instead of $2. I only noticed because I'd broken a 10 for a Red Bull (still $2 in my neighborhood), and when I went to get my second drink, I only had two 1s and some 20s. It was either over-tip like a motherfucker or look like an ass for the next 20 minutes. Guess which one I chose.
Lady Bunny put on Destiny's Child's "Jumpin' Jumpin'" during the open bar. As I was lip synching between gulps, Smoker Boy came up and started dancing with me. I engaged him a bit before he saw something shiny and ran away. 10 minutes later, he was back. He told me directly that he thought I was hot before shrugging and walking away.
Within 5 minutes, Smoker Boy wad making out with some guy. I cheered him on in my head because it seemed to be what he was looking for. 2 minutes later, it was back to me.
|photo from 2time-sys.com|
Him: "So where do you live?"
Him: "Like where?"
Me: "Washington Heights, actually."
Him: "Do you wanna just go?"
Me: "No, but thanks."
Him: "Why not?"
Me: "I just don't want to."
Him (after making out with the other guy more): "Let's just go."
Him: "Why don't you want to leave with me?"
Me: "I'm just not feeling it."
A short while later, after checking out the main dance floor, I slipped into the bathroom. I missed the 'Women' sign, and stepped in to find no urinals.
As I was walking to a stall, I saw (after open bar, so I could be wrong) Smoker Boy coming out of a stall with a guy who looked an awful lot like Evander Holyfield after his Mike Tyson fight.
When Smoker Boy saw me, he ran towards me, indicating that he wanted to join me in the stall. I told him no and tried to close the door, but he wasn't having it. So I let him in. And immediately slipped out into a stall on the other row.
He leapt for the door, and peeking over, he told me: "Dude, I just want a bump, man!" I have no idea what would lead him to believe I had any sort of contraband on me, but he slunk away soon after I told him I was only peeing.
When I was done, I swung by the VIP to wish Logan Slaughter and her new Louboutins a happy birthday (from outside the velvet rope). Logan cut our exchange short when she made a face and pointed behind me. I turned around to find Smoker Boy on the go-go platform with his pants unzipped. Totally Britney-Spears-ing it.
He was quite the spectacle, and he wouldn't leave me alone until I got on the platform with him. I was ready to go back to the smaller dance floor, but a song I really liked came on.
While we were up on the platform grinding, a bouncer came over to us. My first thought was . o O (Did this nasty hooker pull his dick out?), but it turns out they were making way for an actual go-go. I was still kind of embarrassed and fled to the other side of the dance floor, making sure to make Andrew Werner get a slutty photo of me before I left for the Grindr party at the Ritz.
The Ritz involved a lot of hot guys, but it was unremarkable (i.e., none of them were looking at me), so I moved on after about an hour.
Did I mention that Vlada's 2-2:15am open bar is the
best worst idea ever? Yeah.
Click here to check out this night at Rockit at Amalia.
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