"Um, I think your shoe's untied." (The "Class or Ass" Party)

I was planning to host a party for my dad's birthday. I'd never hosted anything for the family before (and I have relatives in their 30s in the same boat), so I was super excited. Wine… good liquor… I was even going to have food!

It was scheduled for the evening of December 26th: the same day as the storm that crippled NYC for almost 3 days.

So instead of moping, I turned it into an opportunity: a "Class or Ass" party for my friends. And based on the fact that no one had anything legendary planned for NYE Friday, hosting a party that Saturday was perfect timing.

The boys really got into the theme, some more literally than others. Calipornia had mentioned incorporating a jock strap into her outfit, but I really didn't take her seriously til she took her pants off.

"Um, I think your shoe's untied."

The Urban Sprawl revealed a y-back thong. Of course, there were quite a few photo opps for the dorsally exposed pair, and both have rather remarkable asses. But Urban Sprawl's placement is noticeably higher than the Calapornia's. Picture after picture, Calipornia was trying to pose different ways, but there was no hiding the difference in shape.

"Don't try to compare yourself to a Latin ass; just take the compliment and say thank you."

Later, we did the dance to Lady Gaga's "Telephone." You know how at the end, they do that move during the eh-eh-ehs where they bend over to the side? I went to do that move, and all I saw was Urban Sprawl's crack expanding in slow motion. I made a last-minute decision to omit that step.

A manager from my day job showed up with a crew of (HOT) Latin guys. One of them was a guy the Straight Roommate knew from the steamroom gym. Apparently he'd been trying to hook us up for “the longest” (but I never got a phone number, an email address, or even a Manhunt screenname). He was easily one of the hottest guys at my party, and he said about 3 words to me (womp womp).

Eventually, I kicked everybody out and sent them all to No Parking, staying after to make sure everybody was out and nobody was taking anything. As I approached the subway close to my building, I noticed a group of young men loitering near the entrance with open containers.

. o O (I know these delinquents didn’t take to-go cups out of my apartment on the street… maybe they won’t recognize me all bundled up if I walk by fast enough!)

No Parking included go-goes, grinding, and a flirty guy of short stature who definitely got my card on his way out the door. Did I mention that the re-enactment of the end of my birthday far overshadowed the fact that the short guy never emailed me? Yeah.

Click here to check out my birthday party.

Add me as a Facebook friend see the private (NSFW) album from the "Class or Ass"party and to preview the Crew's trip to Boston.

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