Day 2 on the Big Gay Cruise brought us to the Bahamas. We were only scheduled to be in the port til 12:30, so I had to set my alarm for about 4 hours after I went to bed.
There are all sorts of tourist markets right off the port in Nassau, and I walked right past them. My plan was to wander and see if I could find anything cool outside the obvious places. After about 15 minutes of walking, I found a small beach with white sand and clear water that made me realize two things: 1) I'm incredibly lucky to be in a position where I can take this type of vacation and 2) it's pretty unfair that people get to live in these beautiful surroundings while we have to deal with snow, wind chill and Standard Time.
Caribbean Man on the beach (fully dressed): "Hey, my man. What ship are you on?"
Me (warily): "Allure."
Him: "Alright. Do you need anything? Anything I can help you find?"
Me: "Actually, I really want to find some good conch."
Him: "Like a conch salad? There's a fish fry over yonder across the road. You need something to make you feel good? You smoke? They call me Dr. Feel Good. I can help you find whatever you need."
Me: "Oh. Uh, no thanks, man."Him: "You sure? You need a woman?"
Me: "No."
Him: "You need a man?"
Me: "I'm good, thanks. But I'll let you know if anything comes up."
Him: "Well, decide quick 'cause I'm not around here for too long."
I wandered further to find a strip of old pastel buildings that turned out to be the nightlife spot. A few places were open, so I ambled into one of them, approaching the "Wait To Be Seated" sign. After about a minute, I realized that no one was making moves to seat me, so I walked in and sat at the bar. I was excited to try some conch fritters, but the bartender informed me that the kitchen wasn't open yet. I'd forgotten that it was just after 11 by that point. But the bar was open, so I got a Bahama Mama in a to-go cup.
“This is legal on the street, right?”
I wandered though the market on my way back to the ship, and about 25 dark-skinned women in lace-front wigs (it really was too hot for that mess) pitched me to buy their wares. "Help you find something?"
"Let me show you my bracelets. Find something for mama?"
"Any of these bags catch your eye?"
Seriously, Canal Street has nothing on Nassau's bootleg purse scene.
Just outside the ship, I passed by the "Certified Hair Braiding" stand where some poor pre-teen white girl was being introduced to the pain of tight braids for the first time. I happened to be wearing an old sheer Hostess shirt that said "Sweet To Eat" across the front in faded colors. A large Bahamian woman called out: "Sweet to eat! Hey! Come here, Sweet to eat!"
I smiled and nodded, quickening my pace.
The whole time, I was wondering why I hadn't seen or heard a single thing about Rihanna. You'd think they'd be proud of their home-town hero, right? I'd been humming her songs all day hoping to at least see a billboard or a plaque or something.
Did I mention it took me til I got back on the ship for me to realize she's from Barbados, not the Bahamas? Yeah.
Click here to check out Day 1.
Click here to check out the "Ask Me; Tell Me," Heros and 70s parties.
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