On the first day of the Big Gay Cruise, the first thing we did in the port was hand our bags over to the porters to be taken to our cabins. We then had to pass through a security screening not unlike the airport (but we kept our shoes). We were separated by our deck numbers and checked in, receiving our combination key, ID and currency card for the ship. After a quick stop for a corny photo in front of a picture of the ship, we boarded. The whole process took less than a half hour, and Calipornia, an event planner by trade, was quite impressed.
Cali: "We're dropping off our carry-ons at the room, and we're getting a drink!"
Now, when I say this is the biggest gay cruise ever, I'm not exaggerating. Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas is the biggest cruise ship to date, and the list of features is impressive to say the least (touch-screen displays in every lobby to tell you everything... down to how crowded each restaurant is!). Our room had a view of the promenade shopping area below. Above that was the ship's open-air Central Park, lined with restaurants and cafes (and real plants!). It was here that we found a kiosk-bar with our favorite bartender: Fe.
The smiley Filipina handed us drink menus, which we perused for way too long. Of course we picked the frozen drink for which she'd run out of mixer. She literally ran downstairs to get more, even after we told her we'd be happy to try something else. If Fe was the standard for this ship's service, I knew I'd be spending a lot of money on tips.
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| Cabin Door Decor |
We had a bit of time to explore before the emergency demonstration, which all the ship’s staff (including entertainers) had to help with. Or demonstration was in the ice rink theater. As we were walking in, there was a number of staff personnel along the way to the seats. Among the people in Royal Caribbean polos was a fuck buddy I’d met back in the summer of ’08! I got a quick hello in, but we were late (and I didn’t want to get him in trouble).
. o O (Damn, he still looks good. I wonder if he’s allowed to fraternize…)
Calipornia and I sat down in one of the back rows. I looked to my left, and this blonde white guy comes prancing into our row wearing a pair of denim cut-offs that had been rolled up so short they had at least 3 inches of pocket showing. My first thought was Trashy! But when he smiled and greeted me with a French accent, my next thought was, Très Trashé… but he’s got a hell of a smile. We talked a bit and had a couple of laughs. When it was all over, we traded buddy cards. And as he walked away, I got a great view of his tramp stamp: a blue diamond just above the slightest hint of ass crack. And when I finally saw how well he filled out the back of the shorts, I made sure to remember which pocket I’d put his card in.
Did I mention that people made these ultra-slutty 'Buddy Cards' for the cruise with their cabin numbers on them? Like "come on by anytime." Well, really your cabin number is your phone number on the ship (mobile service is astronomically expensive if it's even available), so it's not that slutty... in theory. Most people put their contact info on them for staying in touch after as well.
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| Manhunt-esque pictures were not uncommon on Buddy Cards. |
Next was the Set Sail party. The weather was beautiful! Everglades Port was not.
We were out on the pool deck enjoying a cocktail and getting a first look at all the boys on the ship. One of the boys I was checking out turned and looked back at me. Of course, it was a guy from my gym. And of course, he was there with his crew from the gym. And of course, unbeknownst to me, they knew Calipornia.
“I came 1000 miles from NYC to run into you fools?! Have we left port yet? Where’s the gangway! I want my money back!”
Calipornia had met quite an attractive age-liberated couple from Boston (probably from when he tried to pick up the twink of the two) who were involved with John Blair's New XL venture in NYC. After dinner with the pair in the very formal Adagio restaurant (I may or may not have worn shorts), we finished unpacking and got ready for the Welcome Party.
People had been saying that it was an underwear party the whole day. I looked over every piece of literature I had on the first day, and I saw nothing about an underwear party. I mean, I laid some cute ones out, but I definitely put on shorts and a shirt before I went down to the promenade.
Our room had a view of said promenade where the Welcome Party was taking place, and as I was unpacking, Calipornia, whose bed was closer to the window got distracted by some of the earlier party attendees.
“They’re looking up here. Oh, you want my shirt off? Okay! See? Yeeeeeeaaaaah! Oh, you like this? You just wait! D. Kareem, come over here!”
So we put on a lil flexing show for the people downstairs. Did I mention that the end of the show happened when the drag queens started motioning for us to make out? Yeah
Click here to check out our pre-sail night in Ft. Lauderdale.
Click here to check out our HUGE surprise on Day 1, Part II.
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2 comments:
"Yeeeeeeaaaaah! Oh, you like this?"
In front of the window over-looking the Promenade, really? What, were the two of you already wasted (and remained that way the entire week?)
David, at no point was I wasted. Drinks were like $8, and I didn't smuggle alcohol!
I told myself relative sobriety would help me remember everything better.
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