"the guy with the booty" (Kat de Luna @ Daniel Nardicio's underwear party @ the Ice Palace, Memorial Day Weekend '11)

For Memorial Day Weekend, promoter Daniel Nardicio was having Kat De Luna perform at his Cherry Grove underwear party. I was pretty obsessed with her first album, so there was absolutely no way I was missing this one. I'd considered playing ugly roulette (i.e., going out there and trying to hook up with a guy that could let me crash... oh, like you've never done that!), but the Architect came through with a place for me to stay at the last minute!

I got out there pretty early on Friday (his house is at the far end of civilization, but it's beachside), and it was just him and a housemate in the house so far. The Architect whipped up a quick lunch for us (with wine!) before he and I jumped on his John Deere Gator to pick up another housemate who had done a shit ton of grocery shopping. We met up with the Lebanese Daddy (as he's often called by the twinks he chases), and loaded up the supplies in the back of the Gator.

The Architect had to go to the liquor store to place an order, so L. Daddy and I waited by the gator. As we chatted a bartender/model/all around hottie I'd met through DR!P walked by.

Me: "So are you working out here again this summer?"

Hottie: "I just got fired from the pool bar!"

L. Daddy: "Fired?!"

Hottie: "Fired."

Me: "Already?! What the hell happened?"

Hottie: "I was late for a shift. I'd missed my train, and the manager fired me."

Me: "Did you not let him know?"

Hottie: "That's the thing. It wasn't even a no-show/no-call. I texted him to let him know, and he fired me. So I called the owner of Sip 'n Twirl, and he took me on. I'm training there now."

Me: "Well that's good!"

L. Daddy: "I can't believe they fired you for that!"

Me: "Yeah, they must have been looking to get rid of you over something like being late."

Hottie: "The GM never liked me. She was such a– oh hey!"

And within 30 seconds, he was called over to greet two separate groups of people. Because that's how it is in the Pines.

The Architect came back from the liquor store, and I called shotgun in the Gator, which was kinda mean because it forced L. Daddy to ride on the bed of the vehicle. Luckily, they've filled in most of the potholes on Fire Island Blvd, so we didn't lose him or the groceries speeding over a bump.

Fire Island meals tend to be on a more European schedule, mostly because the housemates that are assigned to cook often don't leave the High Tea parties in town early enough. So it's not unusual to just be sitting down to dinner at 11. I was a bit antsy because I was determined not to miss Kat De Luna perform in Cherry Grove. The Grove is only about a half mile through beachy woods from the Pines, but to get there from the Architect's house, one has to traverse about a mile of boardwalk into town and through to the far side. As much as I didn't want to be a rude guest (the Architect already knew how obsessed I was), I woofed down my food and left about 20 min into dinner. Luckily, KennyKennyKenny, who was staying in the house for the weekend, wanted to come too.

We high-tailed it through the Meat Rack, which I could do with my eyes closed after staying in the Grove last summer, and arrived at the back entrance to the Ice Palace right around midnight (but we had to enter through the front).

Me: "DANIEL!"

Daniel (in the middle of something): "Hey, babe!"

Me: "Has Kat performed yet?!"

Daniel: "You got time. She's on at 1. And I got you at the door."

Me: "Any chance you can comp my friend, too?"

Daniel: "Yeah, you're both good."

I try to use my powers for good. Sometimes.

KennyKennyKenny went to the bar, and that was the last I saw of him. I, on the other hand, found myself a spot by the stage. It wasn't packed, but it was full enough to be interesting.

Then this happened.

Right around 3:20, I got called on stage (as "the guy with the booty") with a few other people. Kat, whose butt-length weave was serving out-of-control fierceness, put on her song and gave us all a bit of spotlight time. After I'd danced for a few bars, she waved me off the go-go box, saying "Come come over here and dance with me!"

Now, here I was, a grown-ass man in quite skimpy underwear. I have a woman in a mostly fishnet outfit dancing pegao in front of me on stage. I thought about really giving a show and getting dirty, but I decided to keep it kosher go for the implied grind with just enough space to fake it.

After the show, I took a tour through the dark room to watch the boys play, and boy did they play. Little did I know I was about to put on a show of my own.

I had ventured out of the dark room and run into a friend of a friend who used to work in TV. Turns out he was part of Kat's entourage for the night (and I got a personal post-show intro). Turns out he also knew a very cute guy that was tight with a bunch of bartenders at the Ice Palace. We had an immediate connection, and he immediately started feeding me drinks.

I usually don't include details like this, but this story is that much of a trip. So, I usually wear underwear that allows me to tuck and roll so that if a situation like this happens, the whole party doesn't know just how aroused I am. But these particular underwear more or less just kind of pushed everything out. I really liked how they looked and felt, so I just went with them. Of course, as we're making out and hands are wandering, I have the expected reaction.

Him: "Want another drink?"

Me: "Of course!"

As soon as he walked away, the friend that had introduced us pointed down and said, "Nice." with a smirk. Then he slaps his two friends on the arm and points at me. This is when I realized that I was telling everyone more stats than my Manhunt profile. There were a good few seconds of panic and wondering how to hide it before I just grabbed it and pressing it to my hip. Braiding my hair with one hand and reciting F# major scales took care of said reaction after a couple of minutes.

So the guy comes back with a drink, and we start going at it again.

Him: "You're so sexy. You know I'm a top, right?"

Me: "Welcome to my fucking life! So am I. Whatever."

I was back to my engorged state by this point, and when we started kissing again, he grabbed my engorgement. He stopped, looked down, and (I kid you not) said the following:

"Damn! Okay, with that thing, you can definitely top me!"

Did I mention I love bringing out the versatility in guys? Yeah.

My birthday weekend is always the same as Brooklyn Pride. Click here to check out my party from last year.