Friday, July 8, 2011

alone with Justin Timberlake (Bad Teacher NYC premiere)

I had gotten back from an intense weekend of early busses to and from Boston for a wedding, and from the bus, I went directly to my office to change for Folsom Street East. hOtter kept me out way too late, making it my 3rd night in a row with 5 hours or less of sleep.

But somehow, I still manage to meet up with my friend HulaHoop, 2 of his friends and a euro 'straight' guy who just happened to be wearing the tightest pants in the group.

After choking down 2 happy-hour drinks, we arrived at Ziegfeld Theater and waited in line for about an hour and 15. I was not prepared to wait in line, but apparently "red carpet" didn't mean we'd actually be on it. HulaHoop had VIP credentials to get in, but he wasn't trying to pull strings for 5 people to join! So after the long-as-hell wait, the girls in front of us were the last to be admitted. HulaHoop was outraged, but he kept his cool and told us to wait while he saw what he could do.

10 minutes later, we were ushered into the front entrance with assigned seats and comps to the after-party. The other boys grabbed complimentary popcorn and Diet Coke.

The movie itself was really cute. Damn funny, even! And the comparison between Cameron Diaz and Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds might have changed my life.

After the screening, they had a couple of chartered busses to take people down to the Bowery Hotel for the after-party. As we waited for the others to make their way out of the theater (we'd been herded out the back door), HulaHoop wandered off to the front entrance, returning quite frustrated about 5 minutes later.

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"There was a security bubble, and I was standing in this one area pretty much alone with Justin Timberlake. I was trying to pull up the camera in my iPhone to take a picture, but it gave me this resetting status bar! It was so awkward! He was looking at me like, 'Oh, so you're too cool for a picture with me?'"

We piled on a bus (standing) that dropped us off at one of the nicest venues I've been to in NYC. The kind of place where the well is $12 Absolut.

I confirmed that it was open bar while HulaHoop got us food from the surprisingly heavy buffet. And every time the roving servers came by with a plate of bacon-wrapped prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, I was all over it!

After a few drinks, the other guys started playing pool. I took this opportunity to wander around. They had a photo-booth setup where you could re-create the movie poster, and they'd gotten VHSs of the movies Cameron Diaz's character had shown the kids (instead of teaching), placing them around the different bars!

HulaHoop: "Did you see Cameron?"
Me: "No, I didn't even think she was here. But Justin's on the other side of those French doors, notice how there are no women in the booth, Kirstie Alley's wearing some FIERCE heels, and I saw some tall, shaggy white dude I recognize. Maybe Joaquin Phoenix?"
HulaHoop: "Er, someone said John Meyer's here."
Me: "Oh, that's who it was! John Meyer! Not that it matters if I got his name wrong. We all know how he feels about black girls like me."

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On our way out, we ran into a paparazzo in pajama pants named Rose with whom the PR gay HulaHoop had invited was well acquainted. The PR gay wanted her to take a photo of us, but she was waiting for John Meyer to come out (girl, me too!). And of course Miss Meyer was just inside the door waiting for her entourage/security to get their act together. I was so ready to leave. Once she got her shot (a very nice one, indeed), she snapped a few photos of the others. I opted not to have my tiredness captured in digital HD quality.

Then, as we tried to maneuver through the double-parked limos to catch a cab, I realized that I was going the wrong way. I pulled a quick about face and found myself perilously close to being swallowed up by Paul Bates' enormous suit jacket as he made his way to one of the waiting limos.

We hopped a cab to midtown where we dropped off the PR gay and his friend.

PR Gay: "Hey, great to meet you! Definitely get my number from HulaHoop! We need to hang!"
Me: "Well, here's my card. It has my Facebook on it."
PR Gay: "Oh, I don't use Facebook..."

Say WHAT?!

Did I mention that I don't deal well with outdated technology? Yeah.

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Jess Opong said...

Mayer looks like a hot ass mess...

Mike Milliron said...

Wow - awesome - #jealoushomo