Saturday, July 16, 2011

“Betty White’s dead?!” (My weekend in Asbury Park)


So I spent the weekend down in Asbury Parkthanks to the organizers of Sandblast and wrote a post for them about the party. But here’s thestory of what actually happened while I was down there.

AdamFaceHunt and I took the traindown, and it wasn’t long before SEPTA (a friend I’d met through AdamFaceHunt)arrived on a bus from Philly. We all changed and hit the beach, which was crawling with hot guys (even the straight ones). After a few hours in the sun, we wandereddown the boardwalk to the Empress Hotel’s pool for music, boy watching, anddrinks. This is the usual post-beach spot in Asbury, almost like their versionof Low Tea on Fire Island.

glove tans are all the rage in Milan this summer

AdamFaceHunt and I had spent mostof our train ride down to Asbury picking out riders we thought were headed toour same destination. AdamFaceHunt was eyeing one particular tank-topped hottieon the train, and when she saw him at the Empress’ pool, she went in for thekill. Turns out the tank-topped hottie had a whole clique of cute friends withhim. I didn’t see any of this going down, but when AdamFaceHunt strutted backto our poolside seats, she was bragging that she’d given one of the guys herphone number to make plans for later.

Me: “Did someone say party in ourroom?!”

After a pit stop back at the room to showerand change, we agreed that we definitely needed have these boysover, but we definitely needed to buy alcohol. Unfortunately, we declined tostop at the liquor store across the street from the train station when wearrived. The closest we could find, named Super Extra LiquorStore, is just past Main St., about a 10-minute walk from the beach, but theyhave reasonable prices. Bonus: it’s attached to a grocery store (mixers!). Wepicked up our hooch and headed to Tabú, the restaurant in Empress Hotel, fordinner. The prices were quite reasonable, and they gave us wristbands forParadise, the Empress Hotel’s club. Usually, there’s a $10 cover, but if you’realready there at the beginning of the night, you don’t have to pay!

After dinner, we headed back tothe hotel to meet the guys AdamFaceHunt had given his number to (and their girlfriend). It turns out most of them lived in the City! After a few drinks wefixed a roadie for the walk back to Paradise.

Paradise was a great time. Westarted on the main dance floor (where I randomly ran into fellow blogger Alex Chen, who wasthere with a group of 50+ Asians and rice queens for the weekend) and migratedout to the pool deck.

Random Girl: “WHERE did you get that shirt?!”
Me: “Oh, it’s Lacoste.”
Girl: “Okay, but where did you buyit? ”
Me: “Well, there’s a store inSoHo—”
Girl: “Oh, fancy fancy! I'm fromJersey, so we don't know about such things!"
Me (laughing): "This is a brand thatthey sell at department stores! I mean, they don't sell them like this: I cut it myself, but yeah."
same shirt, different day
Girl: "Oh! See, I knew it!They don't sell them like that! But youlook good, tho!"
Me: "Thank you!"
Girl: "I really don't thinkyou realize how good you look."
SEPTA: "Oh, she's well awareof how good she looks!"
Me: "Excuse me! I’m trying tolet her compliment marinate. It's not like I hear that every day!"

On the other side of the pool, I ran into the hilarious @cetroniohs, who had given me the low-down on the djs via Twitter before Iarrived. He and his friend were donning black veils with pills and syringesattached in honor of Betty Ford’s passing.



Random: “Betty White’s dead?!
Me: “Wow… I’ma let you handle thatone, hun.”

As we were chatting, a shot boyoffered us a "chocolate vodka" shot. As he was telling us what was init, I noticed the random girl from earlier (who'd asked about my shirt) on the other side of him drop $2 onhis plate. When she picked up a shot, she didn't 'take it to the head' as Iexpected. Instead, she handed it to me!

The shot was absolutely delicious, and I immediately got one for SEPTA (AdamFaceHunt had disappeared with the one remaining boy from our pre-party)! They're a must-have if you find yourself at Paradise this summer.

The boys we had pre-gamed with droppedoff pretty rapidly thoughout the night (half didn’t even make it to Paradise),so there was no chance of an after-party. Which sucked because over half thealcohol we’d bought was still in our room. But SEPTA and I, being the craftysouls that we are, made a significant dent in the leftovers the next day at thebeach.

We left the beach around 4:45 togo pick up our bags from the front desk, planning to catch a shuttle bus to thetrain. The front desk told us that the shuttle runs every 20 minutes and gaveus a copy of the schedule. At 5, we went out front to wait on the 5:10, whichwould give us plenty of time to catch the 5:45 train (and SEPTA's 5:45 bus). At5:20, the shuttle still hadn't come yet.


SEPTA: "Wait, I think thetimes on this schedule might be when the shuttle leaves the trainstation."
AdamFaceHunt: "I think you'reright.”
Me: "Guys, if we leave now,we can make it to the train by foot. Maybe if the shuttle passes we can flag itdown."

The shuttle passed us going the opposite way right aroundthe time we got to the Empress, but we let it go and kept on trucking. It was about5:20 when we left the Berkeley, and we arrived just in time for our 5:45 train.Did I mention that SEPTA missed her bus? Yeah.

PS, I will be at Sandblast thisweekend, Friday-Sunday. So say hi. But I may be wasted the whole time, so don’tbe offended if I forget your name!

Click here to check out my (pre-)post on Sandblast '11.
Click here to check out my post on Sandblast '10, entitled "the biggest cock I've ever seen!"

Click here to check out Alex Chen's blog.

1 comment:

Alex said...

There were actually 62 of us Asians and rice queens. LOL! Great seeing you.

~A