bad judgment calls under pressure (NYC Pride 2011)

Just like last year, RSTLNE hosted a Pride brunch catered by Bottomless Pitt (Med School Mess apparently helped boil water or something).

Call time: 11:30. My arrival: 1.

I'd ordered a tshirt online a few months before that was exactly my brand of humor. The ultimate test of will power: saving it for Pride.

hint: it's backwards

The brunch was already crowded by the time I got there, and a number of unfamiliar faces attended. I figured I had the whole day to drink, so I grabbed a plate and chowed down. It wasn't until RSTLNE brought out the rainbow jello shots that I actually had alcohol.

“D. Kareem! You're wearing purple! Get over here!”

“Wait, who's wearing indigo! We need an indigo!”

“You two switch.”

“No they don’t.”

“Yes, they do!”

“No! ROY G. BIV, remember?”

image from bronx newbie's facebook profile. 

Turns out we had the colors of the gay flag represented in our outfits. I hate us. 

When I finally started drinking, I went pretty hard because I wasn't trying to deal with bars jacking up their prices for Pride. A friend reminded me that Candis Cayne was appearing at the new Dream Hotel Downtown, so I suggested this as a post-brunch destination.

As she herded us out of her apartment, RSTLNE insisted that we go by the parade. We indulged her for about 20 min. It was so worth it for this pic.

shoutout to the lesbians: y'all make gay pride so much more fun than gay men do

I led the way to the new Dream Hotel (the old Maritime Hotel for you NYC-savvy readers). We had to stand in line for about 10-15 minutes before we were admitted. But let me tell you: it was worth it!

The lobby was cavernous, but the (non-security) staff was welcoming.

Me: “Wow, I love your dress!”

Staff: “Thanks! It’s the uniform.”

We were guided to the elevator, and when we exited on the top floor, I had to congratulate myself on leading our crew to this party.

And guess who happened to be there:

this image pretty much sums up the vibe I get from these queens when I see them out

Manilla Luzon of Ru Paul's Drag Race season 3 and Sahara Davenport of season 2. They're boyfriends.

Me: “I was dying on your first episode when it was you and your friend...”

Sahara (graciously): “Shangela.”

Me: “Yes, Shangela, and you guys started voguing on the lipsync elimination! The one drag queen was like 'Yes, honey! Worrrrrrk!' and Pandora was like, 'It was like...’”

Both of us (bursting into laughter): “Mortal Kombat!”

I finally got a chance to see Candis Cayne perform! She's legendary in the gay world, but she's always in LA!

Urban Sprawl: "I can't believe none of you has seen her perform!"

Me: "Honey, you're dating yourself."

When she took that stage, I learned very quickly why she's so famed. Dynamic doesn’t even begin to describe this performance! Up on the windowsill, the go-go box, table tops, booths, up and down the aisles! I mean, it was much better than most drag queens! PS, she is not a drag queen: she's actually trans.

PPS, if I ever see Whitney Day on a flyer as a DJ for a party, I'm definitely going. She had an amazing mix of current pop and throwbacks I hadn't thought of in years! Did I mention I thought she said Wendy Day at first (some drag queen probably had dibs on that anyway)? Yeah.

After the performance, we went down to the pool deck, which is sandwiched between the two buildings of the hotel. Also beautiful. And a few brave souls were already in the water when we got down there. Of course, it was full of boys about a half hour later.

Me: “Are you hungry? I'm kinda starving. ”

AdamFaceHunt: “Yeah, should we—”

Me: “Ditch? Absolutely. I can't deal with waiting for a table for 9."

After stuffing our faces (Thai, of course), we went to XES to meet up with some guys AdamFaceHunt knew from the Gay Men's Chorus but she’s no singer, so I’m going to assume they met on Adam4Adam. We left for Boxers about 10 minutes after we got there.

On the way out, I ran into hOtter, which was an awkward moment because with big events like Pride, I kinda just like to do my own thing. Plus, I really wasn't sure about the vibe I was getting from these guys, and hOtter isn't really the most... let's say, compatible with your typical gay male. As they were walking, I offered for him to come along (more or less to quell future awkwardness with someone I was generally very into), but he didn't seem convinced. I could tell something wasn’t right about it. Sometimes I make bad judgment calls under pressure.

When I caught up to the group, one guy made it his business to talk to me along 6^th Ave. I wasn't really attracted to him. But he was nice (not to mention extremely interested in hearing me talk about my favorite subject: me). We talked most of the way to Boxers.

When I say Boxers was packed, I mean... well, it was exactly what you'd expect at a gay bar on Pride Sunday in Chelsea. The Hot Shirtless Guy of the group got a round of drinks for his friends (including the Overtly Friendly Guy) before I got to the bar and waited 15 minutes to order a drink.

image from boxersnyc.com

As I was waiting, I felt somebody flick my nipple. Can I just let y’all know right now that my nipples are off limits… unless we've established that you'll be borrowing my courtesy poppers later on. I jumped and knocked the Overtly Friendly Guy's hand away, spilling his drink the drink the Hot Shirtless guy had bought him. Now, rather than apologize for invading my personal space (just because nipples are out doesn't mean you're invited to touch) and suffer the consequences of said invasion, this kid wanted me to buy him a fresh drink!

I was heated!

I took a deep breath bought him the drink to be done with the situation. "Here." was the last thing I said to him. Turns out he and his friend ended up having to leave for a train 5 min later. Overtly Friendly Guy gave the drink to his friend to finish, and his friend passed it to me. I promptly gave said friend a lingering goodbye hug and my card to add me on Facebook. Overtly Friendly Guy got a nod as I turned my attention to the Hot Shirtless Guy.

Shit, he and the drag queen are going after the same guy. This can’t end well.

The night ended at Gym with Duplex buying me way too many drinks. I tried to get to Griffin, which had revived their Sunday gay party, but the line was too long. Plus none of my door connections answered my texts til like an hour later. This led to more drinks with Duplex.

Did I mention that I had to get home Monday morning in that outfit?

Yeah.

Click here to check out NYC Pride '10... or what I could remember of it.