So for last night’s premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race, I was especially excited for this season because I’ve seen both Jiggly Caliente and Latrice Royale perform in bar shows (the former at Bartini NYC and the latter at Palace South Beach). They were both pretty fucking sickening with no editing, and I couldn’t wait to see who would compete with them.
My immediate picks for hottest as a boy: Phi Phi O’Hara (on mute) and The Princess (that cut torso with the tattoos… alas, she loves “that meth look”).
The queens did their entrances and threw their usual shade on intercut interviews. It’s hard to get a feel for each of the queens with this many here, but those lips on Chad Michaels definitely made an impression. And even though Sharon Needles’ costume looked fresh from Ricky’s costume section, her personality stuck with me. I won’t even talk about Dita Ritz looking like she went through my own closet with some scissors for her costume (I got better wigs than that, girl!). Or Miss Ritz’s ability to pronunciate big words.
Right before the first challenge, Ru Paul came out and announced that she was bringing back a new queen. They had the Pit Crew boys (so hot) roll out a box just like last season, and it was the last person I expected to see: Shangela! I was like, “I love her to death (out of drag), but they can’t do this 2 seasons in a damn row!” Especially since Milan looks so much like her!
Luckily, it was a gag, and Ru Paul kicked her off after a short cameo.
The queens’ first challenge was a photo shoot with Mike Ruiz. They had the queens on a spinning dais with the Pit Crew boys spraying them with
That had better be hypoallergenic spray paint!!! toxic
waste. The first queen walked out, and I was like, “What the fuck is she wearing?!” It wasn’t til the second queen came out that I
realized they were all in the same frock. I felt so bad for the big girls
falling, but shout out to Latrice for working her spill into her best shot.
But was anyone else surprised by how unremarkable every single shot was? Whatever. I was just happy to stare at Mike Ruiz.
The next challenge involved an abandoned motel, an Instagram-y filter on the footage, and drag queen zombies. The contestants had to grab post-Ru-pocalyptic items from the zombies to build their outfits. It was over-the-top campy, teetering on corny. But what saved it was that the zombies were past contestants! It was a great reminder of why we fell in love with the show in years past without too much dwelling and rehashing.
And did y'all see how they left Shangela inside to be attacked by the zombies at the end? "Oh, the shade. The shade of it all!" (Thank you, Latrice Royale!)
And with every reality-show challenge that involves constructing couture from cou-trash, there’s always at least one queen that looks a goddamn mess (this includes Project Runway). And they made Jiggly look quite unsure of her creation during her check-in with Ru.
|As Madonna (should have) said with Kanye and Pharrell: "I love all the big girls!"|
When the queens hit the runway, they all did their best to serve their outfits. The judges had their usual commentary dubbed in as the queens presented and did their walks (some queens handle heels better than others). The look that really stuck out to me was Phi Phi’s. The net collar, the distressed ‘fur’, the camo cape. It just really popped. However, Lashauwn Beyond’s outfit impressed the judges much more than me (though I did love the tower with the broken globe on her head, which may have been her saving detail). The Princess’s "Water World" outfit was a great concept, but for me, it didn’t have a silhouette, even after she took off the life-vest-collar. I was frankly shocked to find that Sharon Needles was the winner. The blood was a cool gimic, but the outfit didn’t strike me as the high-fashion couture the judges always scream that they want. It was like the judges forgave everything because "Oo! She's bleeding! Coooool!"
I thought Jiggly served her outfit. It wasn’t the best, but her presentation was among the top few, even without heels (leg-chucks FTW!). She was like a 2112 Punky Brewster! But she and Alisa (whose outfit looked like she pasted a few details on a pre-purchased outfit) ended up in the bottom 2.
I’ve seen Jiggly perform, and I know she brings it. Dance, face, gestures, and even a jump split, which is always more dramatic when you’re over 200lbs. So when she had to lip sync for her life, I knew it would take an act of god to save Alisa. And as I predicted, Alisa went home.
Now, as a drag queen, you can always go to a tailor or improvise when you’re working a show, but as Miss Lashauwn Beyond said, it’s the 4th season. You knew making outfits was part of the deal when you auditioned!
Question: Do you think it’s a queen’s responsibility to learn to sew before entering Drag Race? Or should she focus more on other parts of her Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent in preparation for the show if that’s not her thing? Leave your answer in the comments!
“May the best woman… live!” –Ru Paul
“…try to get along and wait til a bitch steals something of yours or sabotages you, and then you can read…” –Dita Ritz
“She can make a lot of money offa that booty dance!” –Milan
(Kenya Michaels gets SO many points for doing the choreo from Ciara’s “Work”. Shout out to the 3 other people out there who watched that video all the way through.)
“One small corset plus another small corset equals one fat-ass corset.” –Jiggly Caliente